A two hour follow up post? We are (hardly) amazed by the response.

Apparently, wank begats wank. Or maybe it’s just another Saturday night, we’re not sure.

We’ve just received this twank submission:

107yearoldvirgin is accusing feathersmmm of “stealing” from her because she used the word “wang” in Wallbanger and quoted Ron Burgandy in her A/N.

We can’t make this up.

While the nonnie sent us screenshots of 107yearoldvirgin’s facebook wall (where she tells Feathers to “fuck off and choke”), we weren’t able to really find any logic in the accusation, or proof that any of 107yearoldvirgin’s stories we’re so dependent upon use of the popular term “wang” that it would constitute copying of any kind. No amount of digging has uncovered any logic, actually.

No, it’s just funny.

Except the death wish.

That’s just insane.

LET IT BE HEARD, UNIVERSE! ALL WANG BELONGS TO 107YEAROLDVIRGIN, ELSE YOU CAN FUCK OFF AND CHOKE.

Thanks for the warning, nonnie.

ETA:Because 107yearoldvirgin isn’t being self-important at all, she needs a whole contest to prove how much she doesn’t own wang or unfairly persecute people who use common terms.

Welcome to the Steal My Fics One Shot Contest!

What the eff is this about? It’s about giving permission to the strealers and the haters; the lovers and the laughers.

So, you want to take a piece of my second-rate ficcing and make it your own? You think you know Don? Wanna steal my ‘Wards?Come on. Everyone else is doing it.

Why not steal a SleepHumper or a Wang? Maybe take one of my One Shots and twist it around. Or use my Manny in a new house? Perhaps you want to have a mysterious photographer who can’t feel? A gay assistant named Ali? This is your chance! You have my blessing to Steal My Fics. Make me laugh and let me see what you’ve got hidden up your plagiarizing sleeves.

We love how easy you make it to like you. But, we also think “Fuck off and choke” was a way better name for this contest.

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Comments
  1. Hifuckinlarious says:

    Everybody wang chung tonight…
    You stay classy Twank
    errr wait…
    I can’t say either of those can I?
    “Neverrrmind.”

    • twankhard says:

      Yes, we are very worried, seeing as how close “k” and “g” are on the keyboard. We are in grave danger of fucking off and choking with every accidental flick of our fingertip. Truly dire.

  2. Honestly? I think if you’re gonna trash someone, you should have the balls to trash them to their face, on their FB page, not lurk and lie and cheat and steal and take screen shots of their FB page then turn around and post something like this about them….isn’t that, um, I dunno…hypocrisy?

    Stand up and grow some balls and say something to Virgy’s face – on her wall.

    I dare ya.

    Dicks.

    • twankhard says:

      Oh, our very first white knight! And she sits gallantly upon her sparkling steed, beseeching naysayers to do their naysaying sans masks of anonymity. And yet, she is a nonnie herself. Three cheers for nonnie!

      • Anonymous says:

        You’re giving someone shit for remaining anon? I’d like to point out that your pen name isn’t mentioned anywhere. I think you’re being a bit hypocritical. Don’t give people shit for being anon when you are doing the same thing.
        Also, we’ve all done things when we were drunk that we wish we hadn’t once we’re sober. Just a thought.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know why people would complain about a site like this. It gives writers another outlet for their work to be “reviewed,” since you know, that’s all the authors care about these days.

  4. 107yearoldvirgin says:

    No, no…All Wangs are not mine. There are some pretty fugly ones out there I am sure. Plus, I apologized for my transgressions already. Directly to Feathers. I can pull on my big girl panties and apologize for petty drunken behavior. I just hope that the lurkers can say the same.

    • Anonymous says:

      are you telling me i missed drunken facebooking? FML. i hate being sick.

    • Anonymous says:

      Kudos, 107 for owning up to what you said of FB. I, for one, thought this thing had gotten blown way out of proportion.. but then I read the A/N at the end of Wallbangers most recent update.. it was a direct hit at 107.. and honestly? why? what is the point with all this back and forth? Why can’t all the hating stop? ALL OF YOU, get your egos in check, honestly.

      Congratulate each other on your talent as writers, don’t tear each other down for being successful.

      ******, I always got your back, sweets 😉

  5. Anonymous says:

    Personally, this post is a little yawn worthy.

    Number one, Feathersmmm is a douche, no matter what. Stealer or no stealer.

    Secondly, I think Virgy has a good sense of humor about things, and her page is generally reflective of that. We all get in saucy moods. It’s no big deal, or even really ‘news’ worthy.

    As a matter of fact, Feathers should be flamed more often. Just on fucking principle. At least 107 can write a good fic and in a timely manner.

    withoutpromotinghershittybookfor4.99

    *shrugs*

    • twankhard says:

      We can’t really disagree with any of the above points. We were kind of banking on her defending “wang” to the death. But then she had to be all logical and stuff. We’re glad to see someone can cop to ridiculousness and move on. There is plenty of self-importance to be blogged about in which that won’t happen.

  6. Wtfever says:

    You haven’t given a valid point for WHY feathers_mmmm is a so-called “douche”?

    Just because she doesn’t update in a timely manner?
    Psshh, please, give me a break. I guess you have nothing better to do than flame an author for not updating on a ‘timely manner’, huh?

    I’m no personal friend of hers, but she has.a.life.
    The world does not revolve around FF.
    People do this thing called ‘work’, they go to school, they have families to take care of and lastly, they generally LEAVE.THE.HOUSE.

    #nohermitshere

    • twankhard says:

      “You haven’t given a valid point for WHY feathers_mmmm is a so-called “douche”?”

      Sure we did. You just probably couldn’t hear our whole “preaches to/tells her readers to ‘fuck off’/tells her readers to buy her shitty books every A/N” explanation over the sound of yourself having a life instead of commenting on Twilight fandom wank blogs.

    • 107yearoldvirgin says:

      Not that I want to keep this thread going any longer than it already is, but I just wanted to interject here and LET IT BE KNOWN (all caps – makes me giggle):

      I have a 2 year old.
      I work 50 hours a week.
      My husband and I actually DO leave our humble abode to, ya know, interact with the skirry skirry public and the peoples.
      And I actually have real life friends that I hang out with/drink/talk about ridic things with – such as the pretentiousness of the Fandom.

      In other words: I too have a life. And I write like a whore on crack. Just saying.

      • Wtfever says:

        I should have clarified. I was not attacking Twankhard (that word make me lol)
        And I was not attacking 107yearoldvirgin.
        Sorry about that.

        I was speaking to Mr/Miss anonymous.
        That person was being douche-y. Js.

        I actually think the site is awesome.

        One more thing… FF does not take precedent in our lives, so I can’t fault someone for not updating on a fandom ‘schedule’.
        If you can, that’s cool, if not, well so be it.
        There are TONS of fics out there to read. Try not to get pinned down to just one.

  7. Anonymous says:

    So considering you’re entire world is revolving around doing nothing but lurking and being complete cunts… I figured i’d throw my two cents in because I DON’T HAVE A LIFE. I am currently crippled from an accident… If it weren’t for fanfiction and hardcover books i’d probably die of boredom. So you should REFRAIN from being the “funny critiquers” you’re attempting to be by stirring up shit that you obviously don’t give a rat’s ass about and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
    YES, some authors think their shit don’t stink, but guess what? YOU ARENT FUCKING AUTHORS AND IF YOU WERE YOU WOULDN’T BE SAYING THIS SHIT.
    Grow a fucking pair and stop with your ‘nonnie’ bullshit.
    Srsly- you couldn’t find something better to do with your time?

    • twankhard says:

      Okay. Maybe you don’t realize where you are. This is our blog, where we can rant and bitch about whatever makes us randy. You can make you own blog, if you’d like. We wouldn’t visit it though, because we’d be torn between laughing at or being horrified by your offensive use of a disability to garner sympathy on a Twilight fandom wank blog.

      no1currrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. gtfo.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Nice job making shit anonymous… i hate even fucking coming to your site because it gives you more fucking traffic.

    my name is *****
    My penname is ****
    I AM NOT A SCARED LITTLE CUNT- COME FUCKING FIND ME AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK TO MY FACE
    (above post was mine- just making it known)

  9. - says:

    Really? Funny shit.

    No, no. SERIOUSLY people. I don’t agree with some stuff but WTF, this is hilarious, and that’s the point.

    This people have forgotten that they are pretty much nothing really; they are all in their high horses forgetting that Twilight is NOT their original idea. Flaming other authors, talking shit on twitter and facebook. I wonder every day, what would they say to each other if they saw their faces in real life? Really ladies, Twi-moms went too far. If you are so busy with all the AZUM stuff you do in your REAL life how is it that you can post a shitty comment every 10 minutes?

    I really think that a smart writer is a quiet one. Seriously. Like Snowqueens IceDragon. I don’t care if you don’t like her, her story meh… But I don’t see her talking bullshit around the fandom, she does her shit, gives us chapters often, and THAT’S ALL. And she’s the MOST popular around here. Buu

    And do these people know that Twilight was made for teens, young adults?
    Just saying… If you want to read it it’s your prerogative but have that in mind instead of beginning a soap opera that has not finish date yet.

    • Anonymous says:

      ^^^^ um….aren’t you twankards gonna make fun of this twank for “this people have forgotten that they are pretty much nothing really…” or is that only reserved for those who disagree with you?

      You are slacking on your twankness.

      So disappointed.

    • 107yearoldvirgin says:

      Yes…’tis true. I am nothing and have no life.

      I will admit, I have made derogatory comments about 2 whole authors in the entire 18 months I have been writing in this fandom – nay! 3. The first one started it. The others I paid dearly for. Why? Because there are only a handful of authors that anyone actually cares to hear from. There are only a handful of authors up on the pretty pretty princess pedestal that the fandom has made for them.

      You read their rec’s.

      You join their rants.

      You follow their tweets.

      So, to say that I have a shitty comment to say every 10 minutes, when I only interact on FaceBook (from my phone or whetever…) because Twitter is a haven of petty bullshit and Mean Girls … only solidifies my point: The ones you love and cherish who DO tweet and update their FB pages on a regular are okay to do so because you respect them.

      That’s cool.

      The ‘Remove Connection’ button on any social network can take care of any unseemly scum skimmers you deem unworthy of feelings or opinion. Regardless of whether they interact out of true passion or due to really awesome friendships that they have made with a handful of people that actually care about their little corner of the world.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I can understand some of the points you ladies/gentlemen have discussed. I can even understand the snark and brazen sarcasm you extend, seeing as I love both and use them often myself.

    What I don’t understand, and forgive me for my difference in opinion, is attacking people for no real reason. I don’t understand the behavior, I don’t see what good can come from it, besides hurting authors, and those authors readers and friends. Is that the point of this blog? To hurt people? To feel more important in this big, big world?

    I write. I’m nothing but a tiny tadpole in the vast ocean that is our fandom. Do I mind? No. Do I write only for reviews? No. I write for myself and my love of the written word. Do I enjoy people commenting on what I’ve written, giving criticism or love? Yes. It encourages me. It makes want to achieve more. It motivates me.

    Would I do it even if reviews were permanently disabled and no one could ever know if anyone was reading? Yes, I would, because I love writing.

    Do your words offend me? Yes, they do.

    Why? Because I read these author’s stories, I know a good majority of the people behind the pen names. I feel like a friend to each and every author I review for, because regardless of what anyone might say, you make a connection with characters, plots and the writers that dream them up every time you click that magical review button.

    I can see that you all dislike big egos. Understandable. Narcissism can be ugly. However, the way that you are ‘knocking’ people off of their ‘self-imposed pedestals’ is truly ugly. Wittiness, is awesome. I love it. Sarcasm is a language I’m fluent in and use it on a constant basis, but there is no need to be evil.

    Rudeness isn’t attractive.

    Hurting people for the sake of a laugh is despicable.

    Acting like you’re better than everyone, is showing terrible hypocrisy, seeing as the point of your blog seems to be attacking those with big’ egos.’

    Though, to be completely honest, it looks a lot more like jealousy than anything else. Just my opinion though. I’m sure you’ll disagree, and that’s fine, free speech and all, right?

    To close, you can attract more flies with honey than vinegar. It’s amazing how far you can go with a good attitude and a respectful word.

    It’s just a thought.

    I understand that this will most likely be made anonymous, that’s cool. You wouldn’t want to promote some one who doesn’t agree with you, I get that.

    However, I feel I must say that this behavior is pedantic, much like your vagina’s.

    Oh, snap.

    – OBL

      • Anonymous says:

        :giggle:

        Okay, that was good.

        Totally had to urban dictionary it too.

        I do so love being labeled a nerd. And I know I’m wordy.

        :snort:

    • Twilight Slush says:

      Can I call bullshit on ALL OF THIS?!

      Not to mention, i am so fucking sick and tried of people saying, “I write for ME, bitches!”

      Bull-fucking-shit

      If you wrote “for you”, you would write it in a a journal or a private blog only you read or on college-ruled paper with a No. 2 pencil. No, you write so people will READ it, hence posting it on the INTERNET.

      And then these stupid FFn “authors” complain about that.

  11. - says:

    What I really think is that some authors take things to seriously. Even though you say you don’t and it’s all jokes. I do see all the sarcasm every day and it feels like bitterness up to a point.

    The ‘pretty much nothing’, was just an expression to say that I think most end up believing they are J.K Rowling.(don’t get offended when it wasn’t as literally as it might have sound) I know I know.. Every day is: “I’m the most humble person you will ever see” But that just sounds like an act if you talk shit about other people’s work, and the bunch of unrequited (?) followers that support you are like bullies.
    So you don’t even have to articulate your greatness because this people worship that you don’t do it, and they do it for you (As confusing as that phrase might sound).

    I actually have nothing against ANY author, but I do see this passive/aggressive behavior everyday and it’s strenuous…

    What would be nice? To stop talking shit about other authors, you don’t like what they write? Don’t read it. And don’t feel so angry because there are so much people that love what they write because at the end it just sounds like pure envy.

    Some of us are quiet people that just like to read or write (or both), share a common space with other people because it’s exciting to see them in “real life” outside the writing/reader correlation. When we see a story which we don’t like we pass through it without offending the author, some of us don’t need to draw attention with our super witty sardonic posts.

    Just that.

    • 107yearoldvirgin says:

      Wait. When you say ‘you’ do you mean ‘me’ or are you referring to ALL authors. Seriously, I gotta know because my lazy eye is starting to swim and the other one is twitching.

      The reason I ask is because your general statements may or may not actually apply to me and therefore I am not quite sure what to be or not be reading into.

      “What I really think is that some authors take things to[o] seriously. Even though you say you don’t and it’s all jokes. I do see all the sarcasm every day and it feels like bitterness up to a point.”

      Umm, this entire blog is sarcastic. And I speak snark fluently…so I take it that you either don’t read my work or you don’t actually communicate with me on a regular basis. This leads me to ask if you are on my FaceBook page? Because if you are and don’t read my stuff or communicate, why are you there? (By ‘you’ I mean ‘you’ as in the penname “-“)

      Am I bitter? Technically, no. Have I been envious in the past of other writers? Hell yeah. Of course. But, lest we forget, this fandom is built on competition from the get go. Readers read what other readers read. That gets reviews. Reviews get readers. That story wins awards. That author gets asked to sit at a ComiCon roundtable.So, yeah, I would say that a competitive ‘spirit’ is to be called out here.

      “The ‘pretty much nothing’, was just an expression to say that I think most end up believing they are J.K Rowling.(don’t get offended when it wasn’t as literally as it might have sound) I know I know.. Every day is: “I’m the most humble person you will ever see” But that just sounds like an act if you talk shit about other people’s work, and the bunch of unrequited (?) followers that support you are like bullies.”

      JK Rowling? Nooo.

      But, SMeyer started out playing on FanFic. Or so I have heard…

      Have I spoken ill of other people’s work? Not really. Okay, I lied. The chick that wrote DiaperWard deserved to get called out on writing about having sex during crowning. I won’t back down on that one.

      This post began because “I” had too much to drink the other night and was being emailed for three weeks by my readers about Feathers using ‘Wang’ in her story. I did not call her out as an author – I don’t read Wallbanger, so I can’t say anything about her skillz.

      As for humble, once again, not for me to say. ‘Self deprecating’ might be a more apt description. IMO I am hardly anything to get excited about. I ‘might’ have FAIL written across my entire life. Maybe.

      “I actually have nothing against ANY author, but I do see this passive/aggressive behavior everyday and it’s strenuous…”

      It sounds like you DO have something against other authors, actually. Lots of them.

      “What would be nice? To stop talking shit about other authors, you don’t like what they write? Don’t read it. And don’t feel so angry because there are so much people that love what they write because at the end it just sounds like pure envy. ”

      I have expressed that I do not read MoTU. Why? Not my cup of tea. Personal reasons, but nothing against Icy. I have heard she is a doll. But my beta is a HUGE Icy supporter and I love that. She loves Icy and Fifty and all that business. I’ve never spoken ill of it. The one time I DID admit that it wasn’t my ‘bag’…I ended up deleting 700 ppl from my FaceBook page in order to feel less stressed by having an opinion. I mean, THAT right there shows how egotistical I am, right? Getting rid of people so that my friend numbers go DOWN.

      I have realized that I would hate to have 100,000 reviews because I would have to go into a mental institution from the pressure. Yes, I joke about it. It’s a defense mechanism from being ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ my whole life. <– I know. Buuu

      "Some of us are quiet people that just like to read or write (or both), share a common space with other people because it’s exciting to see them in “real life” outside the writing/reader correlation. When we see a story which we don’t like we pass through it without offending the author, some of us don’t need to draw attention with our super witty sardonic posts."

      Why follow others then and get enraged by their behavior? I don't read that which i don't like. And I don't have anything to say about it once I stop.

      But…stopping my witty posts?

      Never.

  12. - says:

    Authors in general. If I say ‘you’ is not you per se but more like about all the authors, some more than others. Now if you do feel identified with some of the things I mention, OK.

    No, I really don’t hate any writer, and I don’t hate you, please. I do consider you amusing and a very fine writer, but that is not what this is about…
    I have only expressed facts that I consider true, that they are or not… Well. That’s personal opinion.

    And competition is the word you use, not me. See? That’s the answer. You shouldn’t (this ‘you’ it is about you and the rest of the authors) be competing. Tell me what you gain please? Maybe you’ll get more than 10000reviews *gasp* and an oportunity to sell a book for 5 bucks! (which I don’t critize but it is a bit pathetic when is based on your ff story…)

    The mention of Snow queens was just an example; she’s not the only one that’s been laughed at. And again, I don’t say ‘you’.

    If I don’t like what all the authors say I shouldn’t read what they write or what they post… mmm, I would be secluded from the word. mmm, maybe I should…

    Anyways… sorry for the teal deers running wild here.

    • 107yearoldvirgin says:

      Now I am giggling. I quite like you “-”

      And by ‘you’ I do mean ‘you’.

      I would say, “Stay classy,” but that’s what got us here in the first place, right? lol

  13. - says:

    It IS sad that I have to remain in anonymity, quite the coward I am, huh? But well, I do what I must; some of us don’t get kissed in the ass when we spit on everyone’s face (not ‘you’ seriously… well, shit. That’s one you might not believe) besides I have a reputation top maintain you know

    ….

    (Insert sarcasm and weak clapping for poor “–“)

    Be happy, and stay classy? Yes, indeed…

  14. Anonymous says:

    I respect 107 for owning up to her FB comments but I’m not getting her steal my fics contest. It seems a bit egoish to me. How are people stealing her fics? Just because they use something? If it’s meant to be a joke I can laugh and roll with the joke but it doesn’t seem like a joke when related to this wang controversy. It sounds like a passive aggressive contest to me.

  15. 107yearoldvirgin says:

    Or ‘to’ be. Didn’t want to get triple Twanked.

  16. holy shit says:

    107yearoldvirgin, honestly, why do you feel the need to justify yourself? I think you are allowing the people behind this blog to get under your skin. I also think that was their aim.

  17. - says:

    I think the aim was the laughs! THE LAUGHS PEOPLE! —–>> 😀 <<—-

  18. Anonymous says:

    I must say I’m very impressed by the way 107 is handling herself. It truly makes the masochistic individuals behind this page look rather childish.

    Bravo to you 107.

  19. Anonymous says:

    I don’t get the point of your face! >.> Appears I have to sink to your level.

    LAWLZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZ

  20. Anonymous says:

    I feel as if I’ve entered a therapy session I did not agree to participate in

    ….again.

  21. BOO! says:

    I wonder if you realise that all you’re really doing is drawing more attention to 107yearoldvirgin and her fics. Ever heard of the expression, “no publicity is bad publicity”? Yep, it even works in the lowly world of Twilight fanfiction.

    • twankhard says:

      We’re okay with that. Kicking puppies entails so many sacrifices.

    • 107yearoldvirgin says:

      This is actually true. I’ve gotten more friend requests on my FB page in the past week than I have in a while. Kind of like when I got flooded with Twitter followers after my Haiti one shot got ‘actually plagiarized’. Turns out people want to watch the douchery unfold. Sad for them, it got pulled within an hour and no fights were had.

      Kind of like here?

      I don’t know. It’s getting kind of cozy on this thread. Maybe I’ll hang a pic of Rob in the corner and add a lamp. Read some fic I printed off of a torrent and put into a 3-ring binder?

      • Anonymous says:

        Fic in a 3- ring binder? Girl, you need to get you a Kindle or an iPad. It’s all the rage for keeping fics in PDF. No need to dish out $4.99 there.

        For the record 107, I think you’re pretty nice. Once upon a time. As of late though, you’ve been hanging around the wrong peeps. Remember back in school how your parents told you stop stop hanging around the “bad” crowd because their negativity and haterade is reflected bad on you? Reflect on that in adulthood.

  22. BOO! says:

    Ah … okay then. Fair enough.

  23. Anonymous says:

    oh oh Virgy… take a look in the next page… Daniboy got twanked… she’s gonna love this! (for real)

  24. BOO! says:

    Inadvertant pimping … Shit, so all I have to do is call some fellow ff author a piss poor excuse for a writer, stick a copywrite sign above each chapter I write, and throw a hissy fit and bitch at twitter over some negative review and I get my penname pimped out?
    Thanks, dudes, I’m off to be twankery and full of myself at facebook and shit!

  25. Virgy's Spank Stick says:

    For the record :: Virgy actually is a truly nice person on da real.

    Parents also teach their children not to judge before getting to know someone. That, to me, is a far more valuable lesson. (Of course it’s best to first get to know a person when they are not inebriated.) *Grins at Virg*

    Don’t hate! Congratulate! Peace Out Yo

  26. Virgy's Spank Stick says:

    PS ~ Labeling someone as “bad” is actually a matter of opinion. You should refer back to what I said above about judging people. Just because you don’t particularly care for a person doesn’t mean they are bad. You can’t really judge the type of person someone is by their actions if you don’t know what precipitated it.

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