SnowqueenIcedragon’s stans made her this tribute website for MotU’s 1 year anniversary.

Master of the Universe has become the biggest thing the fandom has seen in terms of reviews, fan reaction and outside interest. In some cases this story has been life changing for the readers. It has definitely been life changing for it’s author. Who knew that this little fanfiction story would be MORE.

Idek. We’ll let the twankas handle that one.

Now SebastienRobichaud’s stans are doing something similar. From an email sent to every member of his FGB team:

Good day to you all.
You may be wondering why you’re receiving this email.
Well, SR is currently writing the FGB outtakes you have been waiting for. So I wanted to let you all know that they are not far away. Please keep an eye on your spam folders for the next little while.
The other reason you are receiving this is because fans of SR have decided to put together a tribute site for him for the completion of “The University of Edward Masen”. Our dear author has had a lot of life changing moments while he has been writing this story and many of us are thankful for being able to read it.
If you wish to let him know what this story has meant to you then you can do so by clicking this link and writing him a message.
Only Sebastien Robichaud, myself and my techie Hoot will ever see what is written. This will be turned into a private letter and sent to SR.
You are under no obligation to do this but we wanted to give you this opportunity.
With sincere gratitude,

Squally & Hoot x

Okay, we’re bored with the Icy/SR reader twank now. They’ll never be not-twanky. Unless something is particularly appalling, we’ll no longer be twanking the MotU/UoEM stans with new posts. We’ll just ETA this one. You probably won’t see anything more on the authors either, until they decide to publish.

Lets move it along.

ETA1: MotU stans roleplay the fic into a “show.”

From this amazingly scary website:

ANNOUNCEMENT

Due to recent circumstances, chat will NO LONGER be held in Edward’s apartment. Instead, we shall be meeting in the downstairs cigar room of Escala. When entering the building, turn right off the main lobby to find the cigar room. Thank you for your cooperation.

THE SHOW STARTED MONDAY AUGUST 9 @ 8 PM FORKS

PLEASE FOLLOW ALL CHARACTERS to Follow along.

With Permission from Icy herself we are acting out SnowQueens IceDragon’s Master Of the Universe here and out on twitter

Follow us @FiftyShadesEd and @Ms_IsabellaSwan.

We Started at chapter one and will continue to move thru to the end 87 89 endless chapters and the 50 Shades of Mr Edward Cullen. Please join us on this journey of making Mr Cullen and Ms Swan a reality. Spread the word and join the site for chats and discussions about MotU as well as interact with Mr Cullen and Isabella and the rest of the cast.

This site is for 18 and over only due to extreme language and explicit sex and because Edward Cullen is 50 Shades of Fucked up.

We run the story one chapter at a time for 1-1.5 hours each night
Starting at 8pm Seattle time.

They even got a fucking twibbon for this crap. That thing people on Twitter do to support a cause, like breast cancer, or feeding the hungry, or stopping hate and bigotry. They have a twibbon for the “Bunker Babes” too.

We can’t.

Then, the application to “become” a character includes questions like:

Do you understand we will be acting out line by line the Queen’s story first in MSN and then moving it to twitter?

And

Mr Cullen’s NDA states nothing that happens in MSN can be discussed outside of our Behind the Scenes Conversations. Also that you fully understand and agree to all the terms listed on this app? If you are found to be in violation of the NDA depending on the severity of the offence you may have your role taken from you. Do you Agree if you become an Official MotU character you will abide by the NDA?

ETA2: Love comes in spurts (little spurts):

Tribute to “Master Of The Universe (by Snowqueens Icedragon)”
Song written and performed by Betti Gefecht
Mp3 download at http://bettis-art-house.blogspot.com

Lyrics:

Quick to be angered
Hard to please
Hot and cold and bittersweet
Everything about him
Makes me weak in the knees
And yet I’m still on my feet
Cuz when he shifts his way
From bright to moody
It’s just one of the fifty shades
Of his Beauty

Some call him master
Some call him a mess
Sometimes it hurts
Sometimes I want it faster
Sometimes I want less
Love comes in spurts (little spurts)
Because the gift he
Makes me
Is a treasure
He gives me fifty shades
Of pleasure

Doubt swiftly fades
Here’s my confession:
(Goddess to god, inner goddess calling)
I crave his fifty shades
Of love and passion

Fifty shades of love…

.

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Comments
  1. Anonymous says:

    I have no idea who you are but I just want to say I love you now for referencing Tenacious D.

    • Anon E Mouse says:

      Tenacious D is what I thought as well. LOL To be fair, Icy hasn’t done anything Twankable, has she? I thought it was more her fans/bunkerbabes who were the Twankables. Doesn’t she tend to stay out of the drama? I could be wrong though since I don’t visit Twilighted that much anymore.

      • Anonymous says:

        for the most part she does stay out of it. it’s still hilarious tho…

        • Anonymous says:

          Oh. My. God.

          I’ve been writing for 3 fucking years and just because I don’t write Dom/sub fanfic, I’ll never get this much bullshit ass-kissing.

          • Anonymous says:

            clearly you don’t have enough sex and do not know or ass kiss the right people.

          • anonymous says:

            do you WANT this much much bull shit ass kissing?
            It just ends up reflecting badly on the writers in the end.

            • Anonymous says:

              because good review numbers mean you actually get ConCrit. everyone knows good review numbers mean you’re a good writer. Bad review numbers mean you’re too new or you suck.

              • Tact Guy says:

                I get a pittance of reviews compared to the BNA’s and I get concrit. What I don’t get is thousands of ‘update nao!’ type reviews.

                And thank christ for that. Most of my reviewers have something significant to say. For the most part, they are intelligent and articulate.

                I’d much rather that than screeds of sycophantic minions.

            • Maybe? Seems they fall for it says:

              I just don’t get it.

              I was just told by someone who lurks on the threads that Squally is doing a grand tour of “BNA’s”. She’s going to visit Morgan Locklear and his wife, she is going to Toronto to meet SR, & she is going to London to visit Icy. Not only does she get to kiss their asses on the net but she gets to lick their asses for realzzzz. I guess she was bragging about her upcoming trip a few weeks ago.

      • twankhard says:

        A Nonnie said a few posts back that she once plastered bad reviews up in her thread and incited her masses of stans. There was also that whole ADF wank.

        • Anon E Mouse says:

          That for sure begs for a Twanking. If you can’t take criticism, get out of the kitchen. What happened on ADF?

          • twankhard says:

            ADF pimped out MotU for a long time. Someone there posted a MotU teaser in a campfire (Icy had posted it on Twilighted, I think). Icy made an A/N telling them to not to ever post her teasers without authorization again, etc etc etc. Maybe a Nonnie has a screenshot.

            • Anonymous says:

              OMFG. You’d think she’d be happy to get more advertising.

              • Anonymous says:

                Dude, I was at the CC panel from this year and while she plays innocent and chill, she certainly does nothing to discourage the bullshit created by her fic. After seeing the authors there that were all toted as BNAs, there were maybe two I left that panel having any respect for. Quite a few act so high and mighty but at a panel where they have to think fast and answer questions, nothing. They would just turn the questions to the two authors that had chops. Apparently degrees aren’t everything if you can’t even talk about your own fic in even a slightly more complex context than the damn summary. Oh the dead air.

                • Nonnie Non says:

                  If I were a BNA, and my readers tried to throw me an entire “convention” with a “gala” and 3 day schedule and all, I’m sorry, but I’d have to tell them no way. Not only does it reflect badly, but it’s weird. If that kind of attention doesn’t make you at least a little uncomfortable, there’s something wrong.

                  But Icy went and indulged the whole thing. I really lost the one ounce of respect that was left for her after her wanky A/N because of that.

                  • WTFchuck? says:

                    out of curiosity who were the two writers that did okay? What were the others like? Who was the worst? Sorry so nosey but i want the goss!

                  • Anon E Mouse says:

                    It’s weird, period, to have a panel of fan fic writers at a convention. Is that a normal thing for CC? When I think of CC, I think of actors promoting movies or TV shows, comic book companies pimping their wares, etc.

                    Yeah! Give us the details on who was cool and who was too sexy for her cat.

                • Anonymous says:

                  OMG. OMG…just…well maybe they aren’t the actual authors…lol…you never know.

                  I thought that whole panel at the convention thing was really weird to be honest. It must have inflated their egos ten fold.

                  And as far as her drama issues…she’s probably just really smart about it.

                • Anonymous says:

                  I was at the CC panel as well and I agree. There was some major ego-ness and some things were just painful to listen to. I wanted to stand up and say, “Am I in the right place? We are talking about FANFICTION, right?”
                  I wouldn’t say most of the panel was ego-y, but there were 2-4 (two especially) that monopolized all the questions and discussion. I don’t think it was a case of them having the ‘chops’ to answer the questions that others didn’t, but they jumped faster than the others. It was obvious some were more nervous than others and I think that is how they got talked over. IMO, it just made the 2 authors seem cocky and superior. It got even laughable at some points. Certain girls were very gracious and light-hearted. Some, like Icy, didn’t say much of anything. It was hard to get a vibe from her because she made so few comments and when she did, it didn’t seem overtly over the top ego-y.
                  That said…having a ‘convention’ and what not is just utterly ridiculous to me.

                  • Anonymous says:

                    Really? You said “That said…having a ‘convention’ and what not is just utterly ridiculous to me.”

                    And yet, you attended.

                    • Anon E Mouse says:

                      It could be like a train wreck: you just can’t help but watch. lol Or morbid curiosity.

                    • amaaaazed says:

                      Maybe other anon was referring to the convention that was soley for Icy and not the panel and Comic-Con—is that what CC stands for? (Though if I’d had the money and time to attend Comic-Con, I woudn’t be at panel discussions for fanfiction, js. I’d be at panels for um REAL FAMOUS PEOPLE and some of my fave comic artists.)

                    • Anonymous says:

                      Yes. What the others said. I went to ComicCon which is not the same convention as a fanfic author having a ‘convention’ in her honor. I should have been clearer.
                      I’ve been to CC three times now and it’s very cool, well, if you’re into that sort of thing.

                  • Anonymous says:

                    Who were the ones on the panel at ComicCon? As much as I love Twilight and all that I will NEVER go to something like that. On YouTube there’s clips of the panel from 09 with Tby789, Psymom, AngstGoddess, EZRocksangel, Bella C’ella, Ninapolitan, Americnxidiot and I think that’s it.

                    Did anyone record it for YouTube because I want to see this now.

      • nonnie says:

        Icy stays out of drama unless she reposts reviews or even pm’s. That’s definitely twanky. The lady refuses to give credit to the ‘personal’ aspect of the term ‘personal message’.

    • Anonymous says:

      Dear, SR,
      I look forward to laughing my ass off when UoEM is published by;
      L
      Omnific
      L
      Love,
      a non-ass-kisser within the twi-fandom. xoxo

      PS: Get the fuck over yourself for the love of god!

      There’s my letter 😀

      • anonymous says:

        Dear Nonny?

        Don’t you know it is normal for writers to write elitist over-the-top-cliched-crap that makes the author look smart and her characters dumb?

        To work through a check-list of quasi-intellectual crap that does nothing to develop the character or progress the plot, but is totally there to make ME look SMART.

        I’ve changed the world. Changed the lives of my readers. I’ve EDUCATED the fandom with my satirical prose.

        You are so mean. I will set the dobermans on you. And the puppies. Don’t forget the puppies.

        SR

    • BOO! says:

      I think I have obsessive compulsive eyeroll syndrome from this blog …

  2. Anonymous says:

    Life changing? The biggest thing in fandom?! Are they delirious! This is not, nor will it ever be, the biggest thing in fandom. The only way this changes lives is it encourages sheep to go in search of an abusive relationship with total creepsters.

    It’s shocking but hardly amazing. I tried it once when people were shoving it down my gullet and I was done half way through the first chapter. There’s a fetish and there’s twisted behavior. No fucking thanks. Get a life freaks.

    I hope their children turn out better equipt to deal with real life and not live through a damn fic. Shitty one too.

    • Anonymous says:

      I never read it. No, I take that back. I read the first chapter and couldn’t keep going. And I find it *almost* humorous that some of these stories only get SO BIG because the BNA’s or whatever pimp them. As long as you are a beloved of the beloved, you will go far. Otherwise, sorry about your luck.

    • I used to think so says:

      Listen, I understand your perspective. I understand how easy it is to doubt these life changing comments. I have never had a life changing moment reading a fanfic or any other story, for that matter, but after lurking on the threads on Twilighted, I will say that I believe some readers do feel that way. I can give a few examples.

      Many months ago on the Master Of The Universe thread, after one of the chapters where Edward reveals the extent of why he does not want to be “touched”, a poster came on and explained why she understood why he felt that way. She was sexually abused as a child and never wanted to be touched after that and she started giving reasons why she thought that Edward might have a past with that in it too. The next 30 or so pages were of other survivors coming forth to talk about their experiences and how they can relate to 50 Shade’s fuckupness. That was also true whit Irina being accused of being a “Pedophile”. So many talked about personal experiences and why they hated her. I think I understood, after seeing those discussions, that while I don’t feel that strongly about the characters or situations in these fanfic’s , many do feel deeply about what is happening or why.

      The same can be said for University of Edwrard Masen and the loss of his daughter. The stories over on that thread come out about the loss of babies, and they talk about how Edward’s dreaming of the daughter in the end helped them them feel better about their own losses because it gave Edward “closure”, so they hope they can find it for themselves, etc.

      See, I know, to the average person who is reading these stories, it’s just another plot point. But to some, I believe that they do feel deeply because they experienced it. Life changing? I would probably call that overly dramatic, but maybe it is to those that suffered this or that?

      I’m just giving some examples of what made me stop to think after wondering what the big deal was to some of these people, about how seriously some of the readers take these stories. I don’t really know how I feel about all of this, but I do remember these discussions so I thought I should mention them here.

      As far as the biggest thing in fandom comments, I shake my head. The biggest thing in fandom is this blog. That I am sure of. Does SR need another thing to validate his BNAness? I wonder if he wished they would STFU and stop these silly dedications to him/her/it. The ego stroking knows no bounds it seems. WTF is wrong with Squally? Does she have an addiction to doing this kind of ass kissing every few months or something? Can she stop herself I wonder? No? Didn’t think so.

      • anonymous says:

        Squally is a self proclaimed fan-fic enabler, dontcha know.
        She enables you to think WTF is wrong with fan-fic on a regular basis with her fame-whoring.

      • amaaaazed says:

        I see your point about their online discussions of these stories leading to their real-life stories. It’s sad. We all have our fucked up histories and/or present-day lives. I know that participating in fandom in general can change lives for better or worse, depending on the person, the effect on their real lives, and your perspective. I just don’t buy that a single fanfiction story has that much power because MotU and UoEM and other stories within the Twilight fandom, are not the first, the only, nor the last stories to include issues of abuse, touching, loss, etc. And that’s why I think certain factions of this fandom is prone to hyperbole and a lack of perspective. The higher the review and read count doesn’t measure the impact. Impact takes years to witness. At this point thing unique MotU and UoEm has brought to fandom and fanfiction is this extreme level of hype and “tribute,” and I wouldn’t be surprised if it made the cut for the Twilight Fandom wiki, but I doubt that entry will be a favorable one.

        And now I have to agree that I’ve twanked Squally, SR, and Icy enough until something even more ridiculous happens.

      • Anonymous says:

        okay, for a little srs bsns and whatnot: it’s not the stories or these authors that are changing people’s lives. It’s the community. No one particular story or author is responsible for all of truly and remarkably wonderful things participation in the fandom has done for people. Including old cynical me.

        I hit the fandom while passing through a pretty rough spot in my life, it got me through, I love it for that. But I’m pretty egalitarian when it comes to who brings value to the table. We all do/can. I feel like a lot of people lose sight of this and let it get to their heads a little too much. It’d be nice for certain BNAs to recognize this and stop lapping up and encouraging the ridiculous behavior shown by these “fans”. Kind of takes the community out of it IMO.

  3. WTFchuck? says:

    Can’t … breathe … ego … taking up …. space … ugh.

  4. Anonymous says:

    oh-fucking-my!!!!! I just don’t get the fascination with MoTU… it’s crap writing! just utter bullshit –

    Just because there’s a legion of stupid women who can’t think for themselves or get a good dicking from their husband does not a legendary fanfiction make! baaa-baaa-baaaa sheep mentality

    • WTFchuck? says:

      OMFG! I love you! This could not have been said any better!!

    • Anonymous says:

      Don’t you think there could be a way to express yourself in a non insulting way?

      • BOO! says:

        How about that stupid bitch, Bo Peep, should get fucking control of her flock!

      • Anonymous says:

        no, not really… this playground brings out my inner tactless bitch

        Besides, not all of us can express ourselves in such a “life-changing” manner as Icy and SR 😉

        • Anonymous says:

          The problem is that I agree completely with the idea of the blog but everything needs some limits, at the end if the only thing you know is how to insult you sound like a bitter asshole… and then there’s not much difference between the ‘Twanked’ and the ‘Twankers’.

          • Anonymous says:

            Perfectly stated.

            The irony is that this blog is guilty of the same fandom wank it’s suppose to ridicule. It’s just from the opposite end of the spectrum.

            • Anonymous says:

              At this point, I see this blog as a place to vent for those that have been pounced on by fanatical mobs in other forums and for those who never spoke up in the first place because of what they saw play out elsewhere.

              You have your outlets. This is ours.

              Some of us have been listening to mind-numbing mob mentality for MONTHS now. Now maybe it’ll be clear to you what that has been like.

              It’s not fun being in the minority, now is it?

              • Anonymous says:

                At this point, this blog is directed primarily at a couple of authors and one Twilight fan site. It’s beginning to look like a vendetta – one run anonymously. Did the people who pounced on you in other forums at least have pen names attached to them?

                There are at least two sides to every story. I think it’s horrible if yours didn’t get heard. I also don’t think responding with more “mob mentality” is the answer.

                • Anonymous says:

                  While I agree with you up to a point, I can’t help but recall being privy to many gchats, tweets, skypes, etc. that aren’t necessarily as private as people like to think they are.

                  This is downright mild in comparison. So the question is: Which is worse? Having a fake name on a public forum and attacking a single person with a whole herd of other people hiding behind their false identities? Being anonymous and saying what you never could before in a public forum? Or being completely fucking ruthless in large group chats with your name attached that isn’t exactly available to the whole internet, but isn’t really a secret either?

                  They’re all equally fucked in my opinion, but it’s the twific universe. Would we have it any other way?

                  It is what it is – stop pretending that it’s not. There are over 70,000 members on twilighted alone – probably 80-90% are female. There were bound to be problems.

                  • Anon E Mouse says:

                    Definitely don’t name names, but what type of stuff would be said in those chats? What type of people was it geared toward? I ask ‘type’ and not ‘who’ so no one outs herself. 🙂

                    • Anonymous says:

                      I won’t go into detail at all, but just think about the way you and others you have heard in RL and online talk about another person or group when no one thinks it will get back to them. We all know how freeing it can be when we think we won’t be heard.

                      Franklin’s “Three people can keep a secret so long as two of them are dead” quote is something that comes to mind, or, better still, the spanish proverb “A secret between two is God’s secret, between three is all mens.”

                • anonymous says:

                  I do have a pen name.
                  It’s ‘anonymous’!

                  The blog has only been going for just over a week. Give it time. There is sure to be more twank to go around. There is enough of it out there.

                  Besides; if there are one or two authors that are continually getting twanked; it means that those specific BNA’s/BNR’s and their rabids have said/done some pretty horrible things that have pissed off a number of people. Or people are pissed off with the egos that come with them. Interesting, no? Most of those people probably haven’t been able to get the ‘two sides to every story deal’ and making the most of what this blog can offer. Shameless gossip and baitchin’.

            • amaaaazed says:

              But that’s all over the internet though. Everyone is guilty. We’re all the things we hate. We’re just here for the lulz, and I know I’ve probably twanked on this very message board. I’m not as mean or as bovvered© as I seem in my posts. REALLY! 😀

              This site is relatively new, and so far they’ve only posted the most recent stuff which is more often than not SR/ICY/SQUALLY and/or Twilighted related. Twankhard has already said they aren’t posting SR/ICY/SQUALLY stuff for awhile, so clearly they recognize that they don’t want this to be a vendetta site against the most obvious trio. Although it’ll be tough finding things non-Twilighted because that place is clearly a Center for Twankery© if any of the Rebel VBs have anything to say about it. (omg… whichever anon got me with the ©. it’s addicting!)

              I’m hoping they’ll do some retrospective posts about twank moments that predate the inception of this site. Ohpleasepleaseplease! I love reminiscing….

              • BOO! says:

                You’re not suppose to take this shit seriously, FFS! To say that people take fanfic seriously is the understatement of the fucking century. I am not changing anyones lives by posting here and I doubt anyone else is either. Sorry, I don’t see any comparision between “BNA” and twankhard posters. But that might be just me and the fact that my two feet are planted on the ground, dunno …

                • amaaaazed says:

                  I hope that’s a universal “you” because I’m in total agreement with you, BOO!. 🙂 Lately, it seems like there’s been much drama all over this fandom–in the Twific communities, in Twimovie communities, in the Twibook communities, in the communities about the actors in the movies, and so on and so forth. I don’t know if it’s boredom with the fic that’s out there or boredom in between movies, but everyone seems to have checked their ability to have fun with this stuff at the door, and if you’re not one to be overly complimentary to the point of obsessiveness and a lack of individualism about certain things and people, suddenly you’re Public Enemy No. 1.

                  I think right now the main differences between Twankhard posters and certain BNA/BNR types are perspective and self-awareness. I’ve seen people flounce this fandom and wail about all the real life things they’ve let go in order to keep up with it. Shiiit… I don’t care how great your fic is and how many people beg for updates, if you have a family, school, a job, or all of the above take care that shit first. Fandom will still be here tomorrow.

              • twankhardfan numberone says:

                Oh old school twanks -yes….the ones that come to mind are Black &White by vixen1836 when she pulled her fic to publish with only a few chaps left (I can’t remember now was it 2 or 3 or something?) and then she patrolled other sites that had it up and told them that they had to take it down and then who can forget the great Office by tby789 debacle……..those are the great shit storms that come to mind immediately.

      • amaaaazed says:

        Anonymous in Bold, it’s an anonymous message board on an online journal that essentially throws figurative tomatoes at writers and other people in this fandom who have gone batshit from the attention and have forgotten what’s right and wrong. It’s not a congressional address, so people can respond in whichever insulting or non-insulting fashion they want.

    • Anonymous says:

      “oh-fucking-my!!!!! I just don’t get the fascination with MoTU… it’s crap writing! just utter bullshit –

      Just because there’s a legion of stupid women who can’t think for themselves or get a good dicking from their husband does not a legendary fanfiction make! baaa-baaa-baaaa sheep mentality”

      That’s such shit…..the writing may be bad, but calling women stupid bc they like it and fangirl it is even more ridiculous. SM’s Twilight Saga is SHIT writing…..yet all the ppl in this fandom indulged it and liked something about it and to some degree fangirl over it so what’s the fucking difference?

      You can certainly be considered a fool for such ignorance. Sheep!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know much about ‘Icy’, but for the most part she does stays out of the drama.

    Now one thing that left me WTF was finding out that some Twi-moms let their 15 year old daughters read this story. I’m not a prudish at all, and I’m quite young but come one have some boundaries!
    I don’t know maybe that comment was something completely random but I had it there on my throat.

    And these UoEM are copycats or what?…

  6. Fandomitis says:

    The CC panel wasn’t that bad actually. Giselle, ElleCC and HMonster did a great job answering the moderator’s questions. Which, by the way, weren’t exactly easy or apparently popular among the audience. They broached the stigma associate with the fandom and also the sense of responsibility when writing sex into a story. Even those douchies on Pajiba commented on their answers. Though, he did have a hardon for Giselle.

    MsKathy was HORRIBLY obnoxious on the panel, spouting off with her typical self-pimping and cutting in when others were trying to answer in a professional manner. At one point she snapped at Heather who gave a thoughtful response.

    Amethyst Jackson also did really well commenting on how long and how many different fandoms she’s written for.

    Icy’s main issue was she didn’t get asskissed. I’m sorry but that’s exactly what it was. She’d just come off IcyCon2010 and none of those yaya’s were there to continue the clitlickery.

    • BackTheTruckUp says:

      Were we at the same panel? I’m pretty sure HMonster4 had just shot some audience member down when the woman asked how to get more reviews for her fic with a philosophical “why does it matter? Big review counts aren’t important” BS blow-off answer and then turned around and started boo-hooing about a fic she ZOMGILSFM and *sniffsniff* only has 700 reviews. MK simply turned it around on HM4 with a “why does it matter?” I guess getting your philosophy thrown back in your face is “HORRIBLY obnoxious”. Noted.

      • Anonymous says:

        it could have been phrased better, but i believe her point was that it was a good story and because it had low review count, people wouldn’t take the time on a story that deserved attention.

        • Anonymous says:

          I guess its a matter of opinion. Personally, I wanted to fist pump after MsKathy called HMonster out for her obvious contradiction. The person asked how to get more reviews, and by that, I think she meant, how to get more readers. HMonster saying, “What does it matter?” was ridiculous. It was almost belittling to the girl who asked the question because where would she, or any of the other panelists be if people hadn’t read and reviewed their stories? Of course you want people to read your fics. HMonster went on to say how reviews don’t equate to a great story (which we all know) but then went on to say a fantastic fic she read only had 700 reviews and that it was a ‘shame’ it didn’t have more. Ohhhhkayyy. Isn’t that a complete contridiction of what she just said. MsKathy pointed that out…”If your saying reviews don’t matter…why does it matter if a fic you thiink is great only has 700 reviews?” I didn’t think it was snarky, but I’m sure it was taken that way by the look on Heather’s face and the audience applause from Kathy’s response. The intial question the girl asked wasn’t “How do I get a zillion reviews and get on next years FF panel?” She was simply wondering how to get more reviews hence, more readers.
          Personally, I thought Giselle and HMonster dominated the panel and conversation. They were probably more comfortable with speaking, but their eagerness made it difficult for the other panelists to get a word in edgewise. There were times Nina had to direct questions to specific panelists just to get other POV.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I really enjoyed reading motu, but the cult around it is disgusting. It’s fanfic. Icy didn’t cure cancer or establish world peace. She doesn’t need to be wiorshipped. Get some perspective!

    • amaaaazed says:

      Yeah I agree, it’s all about reading and participating with fandom with perspective, which there seems to be a shortage of in the vocal UoEM/MotU camps. I read MotU because I enjoy reading the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don’t think it deserves this level of attention, which has completely changed my view of the story and its author and not for the better. I thought it was just like any other fic of the kind that stretches things out for updates, has an annoying Bella with a silly internal monologue, and an overprotective Edward with a dark past who loves her and is changed by love he doesn’t think (or just plain doesn’t) deserve. Throw in other male (and some stories female) characters that want Bella sexually who she’s completely oblivious to and Edward is hyper-aware of, and a bevy of ladies in Edward’s past/present that make Bella insecure at times and Edward cocky (because OIC WUT THEY DID THAR… now Bella’s jealous after she’s scolded him for being a jealous ass) or he’s oblivious because now he only has eyes for one lady, and bam! You’re one of a kind but not really.

      I can read and enjoy the shit out of these stories because it is fanfiction and because it is free.

  8. Nonnie Non says:

    “In some cases this story has been life changing for the readers.”

    I just vomited in my mouth a little.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I haven’t read either of the stories discussed in this post but let me guess some of the details:
    1- They are both ridiculously long (70 plus chapters)
    2- The majority of the chapters contain graphic sex
    3- Neither of them follow the basic structure of a good story (character development, conflict, rising action, resolution) but rather introduce one conflict after another so as to keep the story going so they can rack up more reviews. (see #1)

    Honestly, I came across so many stories exhibiting #3 so often that I quit reading all fanfiction a long time ago. Any publisher (I’m talking real publishers, not omnifuck) would tear the shit out of these stories for lack of a proper plot!

    So, am I right?

    • BOO! says:

      Of course you are!

    • Anonymous says:

      Uh. yep. however this: #2 is what most people read FF for these days anyway, right? So the rest, really doesn’t matter anyway.

      #notasmutreaderforthemostpart

    • amaaaazed says:

      You are most definitely correct. Ugh, I’m so sick of #3 in this fandom, it’s ridiculous. I’m not even going to try to guess which unnecessary and epically long story that started this trend with the sycophantic mass panting for updates that never end, that never completely close anything so it can be stretched a million miles wide. I really hope SR/Icy/Squally doesn’t become catching with other writers and fans.

      • eyeroll says:

        I’m glad I’m not the only one who notices this trend. I won’t read a 70 chapter story because I like to have a nice resolution at the end.

        That being said, there are a lot of really wonderfully executed, novel-length fics out there that do follow the basic structures. Unfortunately, now the trend is to write these huge million word manifestos with tons of graphic sex. *shivers* I like my smut, but not when it’s the only basis to the story.

        • BOO! says:

          I like some smut, but what makes me want to projectile vomit, is when every single, infinitesimal detail is included. I don’t know about you guys, but the colour, texture, taste and smell of vag juices is just fucking puke-worthy. BLEGH!

          In case I spelled infinitesimal wrong, I am now claiming it as my own version. ©

        • amaaaazed says:

          I like smut, but it has it’s place, and I don’t want the romp detailed in an entire chapter. If I wanted two people getting it on to be the point, I’d just go watch porn.

  10. Fandomitis says:

    Also, I know we haven’t seen SR (or Icy for that matter) around much lately, but I have to honestly think Squally is the epic nutbag that is taking this shit and running with it on her own.

    • This says:

      God, I agree. That must be so humiliating. Imagine trying to remain somewhat modest about the whole thing and have one reader barrel over all your attempts with this kind of crap. Then again, idk. They seem to shower her with all the love and affection of a lap dog. It’s never discouraged.

      • humiliated? says:

        You won’t believe this but they are not humiliated, they actually want to meet her. I was just told that Squally is meeting Morgan Lochlear/Wife, SR and Icy when she visits the west coast, Toronto and London respectively. I was told by a lurker on that site that she was talking about it on the threads a couple of weeks ago. I don’t understand it. If a fan is this obsessed with me online would I want to meet them face to face? Hell the fuck no! What is wrong with these people?

        • Anonymous says:

          She is not meeting up with SR. He’s notoriously private about his real identity. I don’t believe anyone in the fandom has met him. Don’t you think we would have heard about it if it happened?

          Squally is friends with the Locklears and the MOTU author. It isn’t as if that’s never happened in any fandom. It’s really not as wankalicious as everyone is making it out to be.

        • BOO! says:

          Seems to be proof that they like any attention, even that generated from a fruit cake! Pssht!

    • Anonymous says:

      she did the same thing with the FGB teams. she pretty much sullied the entire purpose of the auctions.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Of course these “authors” are changing lives. Hell, they’re changing the world. Instead of reading actual literature, tweens are exposing themselves to so much of this shit that in ten years no one will have the brain power to analyze books with actual meaning!

    • Anonymous says:

      by “changing lives” are we talking, showed women from all over that there are more ways to have sex then just missionary style? ’cause I *could* jump on board with that except for the fact that these FF sexins are for the most part unreal. FOR THE MOST PART.

  12. Squally is breaking twilight rules... says:

    Maybe Squally’s Twilighted account should be suspended for breaking Twilighted Forum rules. That would be one way to take away her BNR power trip. It states specifically that no writing or posting of stories is allowed on the threads because of quality control issues.

    Do you all know that you are also not allowed to negatively criticize an Author? It specifically says that in the Rules of the site. Not only in regards to “flaming”, but if you don’t like something about the story, you are not supposed to go on that Author’s story thread to tell them that. Twilight advises you to “Just don’t read it.” Okayyyyyyy then, sheep…I don’t think posters on Twilighted realize just how much they are NOT supposed to say, if you read the rules. Is that true for all of the popular fandom sites?

    • Anonymous says:

      OHMYGOD!!!!!!!!!

      When Squally started posting her shit poems and fic about SR and SQIcedragon, I wanted SO BADLY to bring that up about it being against the rules to post them there, but I knew, without a fucking doubt, that I would be torn apart on that thread for daring to say anything. I’m fairly certain even SR’s chickenshit self would have been pissed at me had I said anything. But SR just named her “poet in residence” and basked in the warmth of what to most people would be restraining-order-worthy attention that Squally oozes all over her favorite writers. (I refuse to call them authors. I just can’t do it.)

      • Anonymous says:

        Poet in residence? I want to vomit. You are right. They would have ripped you to shreds had you said anything.

      • Hey Nonnie Nonnie says:

        I don’t know how anyone with even a tiny shred of literary pretense could call the excrement that Squally writes poetry. Have you read it?

        I started out on both MoTU & UoEM threads. I met a few nice gals on there but I abandoned them cause I had a RL & couldn’t keep up. I certainly abandoned UoEM when they started coming up with so many “conspiracy” theories. It was laughable. Not to mention analysing every single little thing that SR said. The final nail in the coffin in UoEM for me was the “taking of the virginity”. What a cringe worthy & vomit inducing piece of swill that was.

    • anonymous says:

      I wonder how Twilighted feel about people who post recipes and quote books?
      Is this some kind of copyright issue?

  13. Oh for fuck's sake says:

    Here’s my official opinion on MoTU:

    tl:dr

  14. Anonymous says:

    It’s very possible my perception at the panel was skewed given I was in the back where I think most of us couldnt hear well AND for god only knows what reason they kept letting people walk in and out of the room! It was so damn loud outside. Drove me nuts. Someone who got a seat closer probably knows what when down with the authors. I still say don’t agree to be on a panel if you aren’t going to talk. Nina had to get people going a few times.

  15. Garth says:

    yeah. imma flounce this twank like i flounced these stories. even the wank about them isn’t worth my time.

    But before I go:

    1. you lost me at Ben-wa balls Icy…they don’t work like that. And jokes about beatings, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha………not.

    2. SR: how’s it hanging in the 8th circle? Hope that cloak ain’t too heavy?

    Sorry twankhards, but you feel me.

    • I'm not telling says:

      I do, and with you 100%. I had an eyeroll myself when i saw the post title this morning. We are just giving these fuck-wits unending attention that they crave. Neither story is worth my time anymore.

      • cookiemonster says:

        I’m with you. I’ve had enough of Icy and SR — it’s time to move on. Surely there are others authors who deserve a fair chance to be snarked.

        • Twilight Slush says:

          I submitted a great one about Cesca Marie (writes Dead on my Feet) and her wank of a fanfiction profile. I hope they do a post on it!

          It’s epic WIN!

          • Anon E Mouse says:

            Oh my goodness! I’ve never heard of her, but just checked out her profile. How many words long it that? **scratches head**

            • Twilight Slush says:

              Did you see her RULES for writing? I just can’t believe she has fucking rules about writing fan fiction writing. Who died and made her the writing king? Not to mention she doesn’t even follow the rules in her own writing. And the way the rules are written is so condescending and rude.

              epic wank.

          • cookiemonster says:

            Her blog answers the question why she wrote such a long profile:

            http://deadonmyfeetextras.blogspot.com/2010_07_01_archive.html

            It’s down a bit on the page.

            “The list that has attracted so much attention lately has been up for about 3 years, and is a parody of Britpicker blogs. I used to write Harry Potter fanfiction, and during that time I received a few reviews from fiercely British people whose only remarks were about all the cultural and Britpicky errors I had made, with no comment at all on the content of the story. I found this anal to the extreme, so I sarcastically parodied their lists and blogs with more useful information — and you all know you’ve felt the same bitter frustration while sifting through the web for something good to read. The list is meant to be read with irony and sarcasm, not the voice of God. I don’t pretend to be perfect or an authority on writing. I just like to say what everyone is privately thinking — and in the tone which they usually think it. “

          • Anonnie says:

            I had to stop reading her “rules” after I got to #9. There are no words.

            • Chocolate Anony Mousse says:

              She does zero research for her story.

              She gives Bella Ambien for her depression. Who in their bloody right mind does that?

              Her ego is unreal. I’m so glad this site is anon, but there is so much I want to say about her but can’t.

    • so obnoxious says:

      “you lost me at Ben-wa balls Icy…they don’t work like that.”

      can i say i’m a little disappointed to find this out? *cancels order*

      as for the rest i am, as ever, surprised people have time to organize such things. when do they work on their taxes and, you know, kiss their kids and stuff?

      i’ve read a few life changing books in my 42 years and i have never written an author about it…ever.

  16. eyeroll says:

    What I found the most laughable was the claims that the authors of these fics have had so many life-changing experiences while writing them.

    Huh?

    how is writing a fan fic life changing? I’ve written a few but my life is still blissfully lame just like it was when I started out. I’m wondering if I got gipped. Where’s MY life changing experience? Instead of holding chapters for reviews, maybe I should hold them until I get my life-changing experience.

    [end sarcasm]

  17. Anon E Mouse says:

    Does anyone know the general turn around time from when a fic is pulled to when Omni publishes it? I’m going to be on the look out for MoTU and UoEM on Omni’s site just for kicks.

  18. amaaaazed says:

    Is this real life? LMAO, what impact other than the one on these writers’ egos? OMFG… and that letter to Icy. I’m laughing so hard, I’m weeping. Seriously, Is. This. Real. Life? I’m sorry, but if I wrote fanfiction that gained a following, and I was informed that my readers wanted a convention just for my story and/or wanted to put up a tribute site or do anything at all beyond leaving a nice review, I’d tell them thanks but no thanks. Regardless if she’s not vocal or obvious with her Twank, the fact that Icy stands by and accepts all of this tacky praise for FANFICTION makes me think she’s a twank-in-disguise or has assumed an air of false humilty or idk… maybe she is laughing her fucking head off, but I doubt that one. I think she enjoys the attention for an extremely ridiculous story.

    If a fanfiction story has changed your life, you’re living it wrong. Turn off the computer, take a walk outdoors, and reevaluate your life. If either MotU or UoEM has changed your life, go walk a plank.

  19. anonymous says:

    Dear SR,

    Your story changed my life.

    Until UoEM, I had no idea that grown men played with dolls or that PhD students at Harvard are so fucking stupid.

    Life changing.

  20. Anon E Mouse says:

    Congrats to FGB for raising so much $$, but speak of the devil: http://50shades.com/?p=1413

  21. Imma Nonnie Toooo says:

    Do any of these people have jobs, or like … children to take care of, what with the creating tribute sites, life-changing fan fiction reading and hero worship?

    Also isn’t there some kind of Motu “show” now? I’ve seen retweets but I don’t exactly know what the deal is. I think this is a good thing.

    I do want to say one thing about this Icy broad and no drama – I said something kinda wanky on Twitter about her FGB exclusive outtake and holy jeebus – she had no prob sending her minions off to virtually tar and feather me. Luckily IDGAF.

    I kinda agree it’s time to put this wank to bed. If we don’t, the wank will be like both of those stories – ridiculous, a waste of time, and never ending.

    • oh jeebus says:

      Agreed. This twank is old news and I’m sure there are plenty of other things that need to be made fun of.

      As for the MotU “show” (and I can’t believe I’m admitting I know this on this site), it’s a twitter thing: each of the characters has their own twit account and they ‘act’ out a chapter a night over twitter.

      • anonymous says:

        You ARE kidding about the twitter show?!
        That is just so. There are no words.
        Well, there is one. ‘Why’?!

      • Anonymous says:

        They crack me the fuck up on Twilighted. When I first saw FiftyShades signed in I was like What the fuck is this. And the website calling for auditions.

        Heidi Klum would never be Irina. That’s an insult. And that whole thing is whacky as shit.

        • anonymous says:

          Really, today’s blog is about those bat-shit cray-zee fans and how they make the not-so-bat-shit-cray-zee fans look bat-shit-crazy by default.

          Like that chick on the TUoEM forum who dresses her pet rabbit up in dolls clothes with random stuff relating to the story. TF?!

          • Anonymous says:

            I think that rabbit is so cute. I’d much rather look at that bunny all dressed up than the slores showing their various UoEM Tshirts they purchased over their ample bosoms. Sorry, I don’t need to be subjected to your sagging tits, bitches. I’d take the dressed up bunny rabbit (he’s the threads mascot from what I’ve been told) over THAT any day. LOL!

            • anonymous says:

              A fan fiction. With an rabbit. As a mascot. That is dressed up in dolls clothes. By adult woman. Boggling mind be still.

      • DyingOfLaughter says:

        oh GTFO!! they do a ‘show’ on Twitter?! that is incredibly pathetic.

        aaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

        ok. i think i got that out of my system.

        seriously. these ppl need two things: they need to get laid and they need to get a *REAL* life. what in the ever loving hell is wrong with ppl?? JFC.

    • twankhardfan numberone says:

      “Do any of these people have jobs, or like … children to take care of, what with the creating tribute sites, life-changing fan fiction reading and hero worship?”

      People who are institutionalised have all the time in the world!

  22. anonymous says:

    What I found the most laughable was the claims that the authors of these fics have had so many life-changing experiences while writing them.

    Huh?

    how is writing a fan fic life changing? I’ve written a few but my life is still blissfully lame just like it was when I started out. I’m wondering if I got gipped. Where’s MY life changing experience? Instead of holding chapters for reviews, maybe I should hold them until I get my life-changing experience.

    I can say that writing fanfiction was life changing for me, but not because it was fanfiction (that’s the embarrassing part). It was ONLY life changing because it got me writing again after nearly 10 years of not doing so, and I stuck with it long enough to complete my two stories and then I jumped ship on the writing platform of fanfiction. I’m just glad I write now, I could care less for publishing or any of that BS, I just like writing. Otherwise, my life is still pretty much the same. I’m still a big dork who likes to read and write, but now I just sit back and LOL at fandom drama now and am soooo glad I jumped the writing portion of fanfiction way before it turned into this.

    • eyeroll says:

      Well, when you put it that way, I have had a life changing experience. *lol* And I agree with you.

      But in the context of the way the tribute sites makes it seem…was writing MoTU really THAT life changing?

  23. nonnie nonnie boo boo says:

    “Life changing?” Seriously? If fanfic changes your life, you need to *get* a life.
    Unless it’s a story that actually addresses something that affects your life in particular, why should it change your life? Even then, the best great writing (note: NOT MotU) can give you an epiphany on which you can build and change your own life, but…really? How the hell does shit like MotU change your life? Come on.

  24. WantToHumpTwankward says:

    Awwwww maaaannnn…I thought MoTU & Icy would get a bigger twank than that…

    As for staying out of the drama…she doesn’t, she just hides behind a secret twitter that she doesn’t tell anyone but her ‘cliquey minons’ about. The reason for the new Twitter? I’ve “heard she said” it’s because she’s so popular and needs privacy…

    As for the blog. I vomited in my mouth and also wanted to throw something at whoever chose to put it up on September 11th and spread the word about it. I don’t give a fuck if that was the original posting date, that date has far more significance than stroking someones ego and saying it’s ‘life changing’. That day was ‘life changing’ for many people in REAL ways.

    As for the whole ‘fan fiction is life changing’ thing. The only thing I will say about that is that it has opened me up to meeting a whole bunch of awesome people who I might never have met any other way, except through their writing. Their friendship and influence in my REAL life has been life changing in many positive ways, but I’ve met a few nutbags *notmentioningnames* that have changed my life too, but I’m not saying that’s positive.

    TwankHards..let’s move on to some fun, fresh material… I’m off to search for the ever elusive TwankWard so I can hump him all day long, and we won’t be doing any of that abused in the past BDSM shit….

    • Imma Nonnie Toooo says:

      So. Much. Word. The tribute shit on 9/11 all over Twitter was DISGUSTING & beyond offensive and thoughtless.

      • LtotheAtotheMandE says:

        I agree and was fucking blown away that it was done on that date. I mean it’s 9/11 for fucks sake! The word tactless and self-obsorbed come to mind.

        Who was behind the tribute site? They are clearly amongst the most ignorant people on the planet. People wonder why the Twi-fandom is seen as a joke. It is not hard to see why with such disrespectful antics like that going on.

        • Anon of Course says:

          Ever think whoever started the blog wasn’t American and perhaps didn’t care? There HAVE been bigger tragedies in the world besides 9/11. Not everything is about the States, you know.

          Signed,
          A MOTU hater and Non-American

  25. Me says:

    Greatest Fanfiction In The World? Check.

    Publishable? Check. Check.

    You clearly agree with the majority of this fandom that the above mentioned stories are publishable, other wise you wouldn’t talk about it so fucking much.

    Hope it’s not to damp down in mommy and daddies basement tonight.

    • anonny nonny says:

      thanks for the laugh… but no.

    • amaaaazed says:

      Wait wut? Who’s doing the checking? The heading “Greatest Fanfiction in the World” is sarcasm. No one in their right mind believes this shit is publishable unless you are talking about for FREE on the INTERNET. Who is the majority of this fandom? Did I miss voting day? Oh, twatter, nice try, but saying that because something is being bashed on the internet it must be marketable is like saying that since we all shit, it must smell good.

      OH! OF COURSE, SINCE WE ARE BEING SNARKY BISHES, WE MUST BE TEENAGERS OR IF WE ARE GROWNUPS WE MUST NOT HAVE JOBS OR FRIENDS OR OUR OWN HOMES. ADULTS IN THIS FANDOM ARE SO MATURE AND SMART AND JUST PLAIN ABOVE IT ALL. TEACH ME HOW TO LIVE AND BE A BETTER PERSON LIKE YOU SO CLEARLY ARE! JUST KIDDING. THAT WAS SARCASM.

      THIS, HOWEVER, IS NOT SARCASM. GO FUCK YOURSELF. REALLY. PRINT OUT THAT EPICALLY LONG FIC YOU’VE BEEN SALIVATING OVER AND FUCK YOURSELF WITH IT. ENJOY THE PAPER CUTS.

    • HideYourKidsHideYourWife says:

      SR? Icy? Is that you? Oh….wait….it’s Squally. See, I can’t tell where one of you ends and the other begins since y’all have eachothers heads shoved so far up your asses.

      Anyway, Squally, no one thinks this shit is publishable. Just you and your sheep, dear shepherd.

      Baaaa.

  26. Anon E Mouse says:

    BTW: I know others have had mention of completed fics and sending them to each other. I saved Just Wait in epub. I never read it, but DLed it just in case I wanted to check it out. I’ll send it to the Twanksters.

  27. DyingOfLaughter says:

    let’s not forget the ‘trailer’ for MoTU or as the you tube page calls it:

    Master of The Universe II [Celebrating 1 year of pure submission to 50Shades]

    she actually wrote a SEQUEL to that fic? good lord. i skimmed through 90% of that fic. it was so repetitive and practically takes place over a 1 month period and it moved sooooooooooo slow. i thought it was cool at first (i started that fic when it was only 10 chaps in) but then it just got dull and predictable and boring. the only reason ppl like it is bc of all the sex and BDSM and it is pure fantasy (and obviously a LOT of ppl aren’t getting actual dick or pussy so they fawn over the story). if there isn’t smut in a chapter there are less reviews. sad but true and pathetic.

    SMUT DOES NOT A GOOD STORY MAKE!!!!

    • Anonymous says:

      I wish Twankhard hadn’t twanked Icy so much. NOW she’s brought that god awful sequel back to Fanfiction. When that site use to go in fucked up mode every week it was most likely due to the ridc. amount of traffic that god awful stories brings in. The can’t control the crazies. and psychos.

    • amaaaazed says:

      I’m too scared to click that link. Videos for fanfiction frighten me.

    • LtotheAtotheMandE says:

      I thought the same thing when I first saw that there would be a sequel. I fell off my basement couch with the title – MoTUII. Great fucking name, props to Icy for ingenuity, am still laughing at the ridiculousness© of it!

      My first question was why? Why write it? I was sure we just read 164094835498 chapters that described how true love had cured 50shades of all his issues!

      My conclusion! Icy must of been missing something and I think it starts with Ass and ends with licking!

      • Hey Nonnie Nonnie says:

        She wrote a sequel cause all the sheep on the thread kept begging her to write more.

        *whispers embarrassingly* Icy & I used to chat a bit & she told me that she had no interest in writing a sequel & wanted to write something new. But lo & behold after a nice vacation & no doubt coming back to tons of pleading PMs etc she obviously gave in.

        I have not read the sequel and never will, nor do I speak with Icy anymore. I had the audacity to agree with someone who ridiculed her & I got the cold shoulder. Can’t say I’ve noticed LOL

  28. Anonymous says:

    FYI Squally and Ice Queen still have twitter accounts SQIcedragon and SQTallis

  29. lulz says:

    I can’t read MoTU because it makes me sad that no man will ever love me enough to rip out my tampon and fuck me against a bathroom counter.

    • HideYourKidsHideYourWife says:

      I’m divorcing my husband because he refuses to do exactly that. Like they said….”life changing.”

    • Anonymous says:

      You know, I decided a while ago to not read MotU, but having been clued into that little tampon gem might have changed my mind. Or… not.

    • Anonymous says:

      I still can’t believe she was at the panel. Do they KNOW what he fic is about? Edward has real issues in her fic and she fucked it over using sex and beatings as his therapy. psychiatrists across the globe should be gasping at this fic since it’s so profound and life-changing.

      • Read It For The Lulz says:

        There seems to be little rhyme or reason as to why people are chosen for the Comic Con panel. Apparently a ridiculous review count is all that’s worthy of a free trip to San Diego. There have been people who hadn’t even finished their one mediocre fic, but had astronomical review counts, who were on the panel. Of course, they had such high review counts because their fics were nothing but sex every chapter and very little plot (and what there was of the plot was utterly ridiculous). I’m sure they were truly insightful additions to something that was ridiculous in the first place.

        • Anonymous says:

          Amethyst Jackson right? I was shocked she was there too. Bonne Foi is going on TWO YEARS. It’s time to finish that one. It started good but it’s getting boring now. And she actually wants to start another one and has time to go to Comic Con?

          And she actually had the gall to write an AN holding Bella’s POV of the story hostage for 10k reviews. It was already written. She can’t play games like that when she updates biannually.

          • Read It For The Lulz says:

            Haha, actually no, I haven’t read Bonne Foi. Good to know that my statement applies to even more than the couple I was thinking of. The other one I was talking about was on last year’s panel and pulled her AH smutfest in fit of wankable pique before it completed. OMG, I love the ones who beg for, hold chapters hostage for, or throw tantrums over reviews when they rarely update. Absurd.

          • amaaaazed says:

            I keep forgetting that Bonne Foi isn’t finished. lol, I think the last time it updated, I let it sit in my inbox for weeks. I understand that regular updates can be impossible, but extremely slow updates kill my buzz, so I try to read only fics that are complete or several chapters ahead, which is how I end up reading epically long stuff while I’m waiting for the things I actually like to update.

            But yeah, I hate chapter hostage and bribery. I usually just ignore it. They can’t hold on to the update forever. How will they get more attention and reviews if they avoid posting? My patience knows no bounds.

        • Me says:

          Um, you know they pay for their own trip right? Comment = Fail.

          • Read It For The Lulz says:

            You’re cute.

            Unless I’ve been lied to by multiple members of the panels, they did. But let’s go with me being wrong on this. That’s fine. If I am, I am. Everything other than that one line of my comment still stands: there is little rhyme or reason to who is chosen for these panels. Some of the members have made sense, some haven’t in the least. So, no, my comment didn’t fail. Nice try, dear!

    • BippityBoppityBitch says:

      AND THIS COMMENT IS PURE GOLD! PURE.FUCKING.GOLD!

    • amaaaazed says:

      I’m afraid that kind of love only exists in fanfiction, and that fear makes me hold myself and cry at night in my mom and dad’s basement because I’m not allowed to be in public. It’s why I’m so down on MotU…. It’s not because I think it’s overrated with its annoying sheep. It’s because I think it’s too GLORIOUS for us lemmings in the real world. Knowing of such a love can only lead to depression and an increased divorce rate as men run for the hills when we give them the chance to combine their loves of sex and gory horror films. Certainly, only the angels in heaven can love like this. One of them must’ve come to Queen Icy in a dream and bestowed upon her this WONDROUS tale of 50Shadesward© and his BellaGoddess© to heal the world and make it a better place through love and pain and love and oh yesss just like that. Just talking about it makes me orgasm and gag but I hear 50Shadesward© likes it like that.

    • Chocolate Anony Mousse says:

      He does what? JFC. I’m going off the pill just so I can start my period. That’s going to save me a fortune on KY now.

      Now that is not only life changing, but economical.

      • amaaaazed says:

        hahaha! ewwww…. but, y’know, the economy sucks right now. Look at how this story is helping us solve real life problems. I’m so sorry it took me so long to see the light. *snort*

        Honestly, until that comment from lulz, I completely forgot that this happened in that story. I wonder how much brain bleach it took to wipe it from my memory to begin with? The only way this smut can be life-changing is if the women who read this story and fap to it become more aware of just what sort of kink turns them on even if it’s just as words on a screen and not in practice (ugh i do not want to know). That’s all fine and dandy, but don’t act like you’re starting a fandom revolution.

        • Anonymous says:

          She was baffled that people had problems with that. Period sex isn’t unheard but no fucking one is yanking tampons out to fuck. Let me take it out myself. That’s rude.

          Who the fuck am I kidding. I don’t do period sex anyways. Shop is closed for a week dude so you best enjoy my mouth and hands because you ain’t coming in the castle.

          • Chocolate Anony Mousse says:

            Yeah, I’ll take it out myself. I’ve been married for almost ten years and we still shut the bathroom door.

            It’s all about boundaries. Icy clearly doesn’t have boundaries. Or spellcheck.

          • amaaaazed says:

            If he gets a week of receiving, then he best pick a week for his man-period, so he can be the giver for a week. I’m all about gender equality.

  30. BippityBoppityBitch says:

    I’m so over this shit I didn’t even read the post. This MoTU and UoEM is ten times worse than WA ever was.

  31. amaaaazed says:

    Kind of OT, but I’m curious about this whole copyright cray cray obsession in fanfiction. I mean, I totally get that you don’t want someone copying your story verbatim and pretending to be the person who wrote it. It’s difficult to control, but that’s a risk that you take when you post something online. And now there seems to be a lot of writers who think they can copyright a plot, which is ridiculous because you can boil down the plots of great published works and realize just how unoriginal everything is when you look at the basic plot. Regardless, you can’t come up with a plot idea and claim ownership.

    The question I’m meandering toward involves twankable claims of ownership of certain takes on Edward or Bella. I remember reading a story at the start of which the writer thanked another writer for letting her borrow the idea of an AH Edward who is a firefighter. I didn’t comment at the time, but are there really writers who think they own professions, wording, and other traits in Twific? If I decided to write an Edward who is an actor, am I expected to write to the woman who wrote Realize to ask permission? (I don’t which story had the first actor Edward, but that’s the first one I’d ever read.) I think that’s insane and twankhard worthy. I don’t have proof of specific cases of this, but if there are any, please be reported because I want to read about it. LOL

    • Anonymous says:

      Honestly, when it comes to this, I’m sure logic is giving you the right answer. It just seems that a lot of people in the fandom don’t have a lot of it.

      Let’s not even discuss your examples, because anyone who thinks they have a claim on a profession (“OMG, MY EDWARD WITH KIDS IS A DOCTOR, AND SO IS YOURS, COPYCAT!”) is not even worth addressing.

      I think what you’re asking, in legal discussions, is called the Idea/Expression Dichotomy. You can’t copyright/claim ownership of an idea, but you can with the expression of the idea. You can’t claim ownership of an entire genre or anything that is relative to that genre, but you can claim ownership of the expression. So, Stephenie Meyer has no claim over the vampire genre (obviously), or even vampires that feed on animals (hi, Interview With the Vampire), but vampires that sparkle? She just might have ownership of that. No one has done it before her and (I hope to God) likely no one will do it after her. There are a lot of questions on where the line is drawn between an idea and expression of the idea, but I think you can get the picture.

      That’s just a basic statement; I’m not going in depth, so I hope that answers your question.

    • WTFchuck? says:

      I saw someone thank another writer in their A/N for allowing her Edward to say something the other author’s Edward said.

      I searched this other writer and found that in her A/N she actually wrote that that word was copyrighted by her!!!! I was like WTF? It was something stupid like spork. It was two words that became one and wholla ©

      I laughed my ass off and promptly flounced the doofus that truly thought she had to ask permission to use that word.
      I will try and remember what story it was and if i find it i’ll let ya know.

      • amaaaazed says:

        Some people in this fandom make me facepalm so fucking hard. That’s like when some WA readers got up in arms about other Bellas who baked sweets. As if the concept of someone cooking as a form of therapy is groundbreaking. I can see asking for permission if you actually use someone’s entire Twific character in a story (nothing makes me flounce faster than that pointless, asskissing “omg we’re so meta” shit though), but you can’t make up words and pretend to own them. I like to add “asm” and “ism” to end of words, but I don’t own that word because anyone somewhere else in the world could do the same exact thing. Seriously, I have non-fandom friends who think they’ve made up a word during a silly convo that I’ve heard in fandom before and vice versa. Making up words is fun and cute, but some people are really deluding themselves if they think they are the cleverest of the human race.

        • cookiemonster says:

          AG’s friends are often insane cretins. One of them accused Vixen1836 of plagiarizing WA. B+W is nothing like WA in characterization, story, or style. I leave it up to the reader to figure out which delusional friend it was. Shouldn’t be too hard to tell — she’s had her nose planted up AG’s ass since day one.

      • twankhardfan numberone says:

        Actually it’s funny that you mention that….I was just skimming through TV channels and stopped at True Blood for the 3 minute beginning which had some episode of Sookie in hospital (supposedly cause she nearly died; I don’t know what’s going on as I stopped watching after season 1)and then Bill leaves her and says “Be safe” and I laughed so much. I thought “Maybe SM should have copyrighted that phrase” but then I remembered reading that the Sookie books were out before Twilight and then I laughed again real hard *Tsk, Tsk, SM* we’re onto you, you know we don’t believe the whole “Oh I’ve never read any vampire books before” Isn’t it a coincidence that the Sookie books have vamps and werevolves and Sookie lying almost dead in a hospital and Bill saying he has to leave her so she has a chance to have a real life with kids etc…….bwahahha

    • Oh for fuck's sake says:

      I’ll give you an easy, quick blanket answer that should be the go-to whenever anyone gets their panties all up in a bunch about copying, borrowing, stealing, gangbanging something from this community:

      YOU CAN’T COPYRIGHT FANFICTION. Ya don’t own shit except the computer with which you used to type out that lemon. Unless, of course, you were using the computer in your school’s media library. Or your mom’s.

  32. twankhardfan numberone says:

    OK one thing is certain-there is no way in hell that Squally wrote those letters-where are all her infamous spelling mistakes? We’ve been had people………

  33. Imma Nonnie Toooo says:

    I picture Icy sitting in one of those filthy Hoarders houses …. Writing her 9387283 updates per week, and reigning over her online kingdom while wallowing in cat shit.

  34. copywho says:

    I think a twank on copyright is a great idea amaaaazed.

    Copyright pertains to the expression of an idea, not the idea itself. This means you can’t copyright a simplified plot idea (girl meats boy who happens to be an actor, dentist, astronaut etc) or even a characterization (possessive traits, unruly hair etc). In the case of the former, a boy meets girl plot is considered part of the public domain. In the case of characterizations that may appear copied, these could come under the fair use provision in copyright. You also can’t copyright a newly coined word or phrase. Protection can exist for phrases or words where they are officially trademarked and use the (™) symbol.

    Fanfiction is by definition a derivative work and therefore not copyrightable until the work it is based on becomes part of the public domain. In the case of Stephanie Meyer you would need to wait for 70 years post her death to do this. Under the fair use provision law in the United States you may however be able to copyright a parody, or criticism of the character. This is how some movies & books that parody Twilight have come out.

    In the case of fanfictions that are now being turned into books I think the jury is still out. If people are just changing the names and locations, then large parts of the work will be quite derivative of the twilight and in a court of law they may not be able to claim the fair use provision. This would especially be true if it can be proved to have previously been a fanfiction. It’s likely however copyright lawyers are only going to go after people if they really are making quite a lot of money out of it. If these books are only selling to current readers of fanfic then they are not making lots of money.

    Twilight copyright lawyers may not be the only people who could come after published works of (ex) fanficiton. A lot of writers use liberally other copyright owners works. This includes lyrics, poems etc. Most publishing house put in their contracts that an author asserts that their work is original and where copyright material is used, that they have sort permission to do so. This gives the publishing house a get out of free jail card when someone might seek to sue them.

    Yep I know tl;dr but copyright is a confusing area. If you are serious about making money from any work that you claim copyright, please seek the advice of a qualified copyright/intellectual property lawyer.

  35. Oh for fuck's sake says:

    I have to share some more cray cray that has developed due to this ….fic. Turns out it’s got its own song now.

    • MY EYES, MY EYES says:

      LITTLE SPURTS.

      Enough said.

    • She who cannot even says:

      WHAT IS GOING ON?
      I AM SO SQUEAKED RN.

    • Imma Nonnie Toooo says:

      I had so much secondhand embarassment watching that.

      That bettegefecht person is batshit. I flounced my old Twitter (twankworthy in and of itself I know) in large part because she kept harassing me to read her fic. Now I can see asking someone to read your story but JFC … she was relentless. And me being a coward and only posting as a Nonnie, I didn’t just say IT SUCKS.

      She krayzee.

      • Betti Gefecht says:

        oh little bee, you could have just said so… imma big girl. And I still dig your recs, j/s. Hypocricy, however… not so much. Too bad… *sigh*

  36. Anonymous says:

    Your “rules” page states that you do not publish emails. Why did you publish the email from Squalloogal regarding the FGB outtake for “The University of Edward Masen?”

    • twankhard says:

      It was a newsletter/subscription email, not a personal email.

      • Anonymous says:

        Could you please clarify? How does this fit the definition of “newsletter” or “description?”

        • twankhard says:

          It was sent to the thousand members of the UoEM FGB team. Unless they sent out each email individually (which would have taken weeks), they used some kind of newsletter software or mass mailing method.

          And it fits the “subscription” definition because when the members of the team signed up, by law, they had to have opted in to that kind of solicitation.

  37. nonnie nonnie boo boo says:

    There’s something wrong with these people. Seriously. How do you let a (mediocre at best) story take over your life so much that you succumb to the desire to ACT IT OUT VIA TWITTER?! Insanity. I think when they said they were meeting in the “cigar room in Escala,” they actually meant to say “the activity room in the mental institution where we reside.”

  38. Betti Gefecht says:

    Hells, my song is embedded twice, my own fick sucks balls, I am batshit on twitter, and yet I don’t even get my own tag?? Shit, what else do I have to do?

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