contact my marketing agent

Posted: October 23, 2010 in A/N wank, Blog/Community wanks, Publishing wank, Pulling wank, Twanks
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m a firm believer in kicking a man when he’s down, beating a dead horse, and above all, trying to convince the fandom that publishing with Omnific, and TWCS Publishing house is better than just going to Amazon and cutting out the middle man.

From chapter 1 of  Lindseyfair’s Bring Me To Life.

May 8th, 2010

It pains me in many ways to have to do this, but I am removing all but the first chapter of “Bring Me to Life”. As some of you might know, I have been working on an original version for some time now. I have finally found a publisher and I’m getting ready to send it off shortly after I post this note. I hate to do this because this story is still getting reviews and favorite alerts daily. I apologize to those of you who were unable to read this story completely.

If you keep this story on alert, I will be posting notes as the publish date gets closer. You will also be able to keep up to date on my web site, (broken link)

Now, after thinking some, we realized that perhaps there is still confusion (how? idk idk)…so we decided to go to the expert–Google:

Question: What is FanFic?

Answer: Fan Fiction (FanFic) is a genre of amateur creative expression that features characters from movies, TV shows, and popular culture in new situations or adventures.

The vast majority of these stories and poems are written by fans with no commercial interest to disseminate their work over the Internet, email lists, or newsgroups…

Now wait–maybe I misunderstood!  Could it be that the expert’s on fanfic have it wrong?

“…Regardless of whether FanFic authors are really fans, owners of original works often do not look favorably upon these works. In response, the owners of the rights often try to stop the creation of FanFic through cease and desist letters and the threat of lawsuit.”

Hmmm…but what about…

Question: What kinds of things are copyrighted?

Answer: In order for a work to be protected by copyright, it must be an original creation set in a fixed medium.

An artist or author does not have a copyright in material borrowed from someone else. Also, stock characters (the sidekick) or plot lines (boy meets girl) are not copyrightable.

But enough about the dead horse…  Publishing can be hard work:

There’s also this (from chapter 1 A/N):

“It looks like I might also be attending the Twilight Convention in Dallas this November as part of this publishing house’s first authors. I would love to meet any of you who will be attending. I will hopefully be able to let you know the release date for my other novel by then.”

Because all books produced by this “publishing house” are so original and not in any way shape or form tied to Twilight that they’re piggybacking off the franchise’s convention.


We don’t even know what to do with the fact that she’s announcing that she’ll be at Dallas Twi-con…well, except to show you this post from her blog- just in case you aren’t sure of where she will be and her availability…

Hey all!

As the date creeps near, I will be available for interviews and personal appearances. If you or anyone you know would be interested, please contact my marketing agent, Shae. She can be reached at (714)989-6564 or

This is such an exciting time for me and I hope that you all will be this excited after you read the book. I look forward to discussing it with you all.

And in an unrelated twank that we’re just tossing in here because we can, HappyWanderer’s Bad Press was recently pulled:

They say that imitation is the finest form of flattery; but in the case of plagiarism, I don’t believe this to be true. In recent weeks, there have been a couple of cases of “Bad Press” being hijacked by plagiarizing authors on different websites. (Thank you, once again, to the faithful readers that alerted me to this fact. You know who you are.) With the ultimate goal of publishing this story professionally, I’ve decided to copyright my chapters sooner than expected. As a result, I’m forced to pull my story from fanfiction.I’m aware that most of you will be displeased with me and my decision. I only hope that the artist within each of you will understand where I’m coming from as I circle the wagons and protect my writing.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,


PS: If the thieving bastards are reading this, I hope you’re happy and know that I’m coming for you with everything I have. Be afraid.

Be afraid, you thieving bastards!


  1. Chocolate Anony Mousse says:

    I think that picture says it all.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Another case of the egotistical fanfiction writer gone ignorant!

  3. Anonymous says:

    PS: If the thieving bastards are reading this, I hope you’re happy and know that I’m coming for you with everything I have. Be afraid.

    I fart in the general direction of everything you have.

    Oh, her “marketing agent” is going to be having a panic attack every time the phone rings before very long…

    • Dead Horse Protector says:

      TWCS, Omnific…all of them…are ridiculous. I love it when they go on and on about how we should support each other – but you see, I AM supporting the fandom when I baw at publishing fan fiction as original work BECAUSE I *cringe* support Stephenie Meyer above all else, regardless of whether I think she’s a fantabulous author or not. Without HER, WE wouldn’t be writing/reading Twilight fan fiction.

      So, I support the FANDOM, not the egotistical, greedy bitches who want to wank off on their readers and even MORE so Stephenie Meyer.

      P.S. This “agent” whose telephone number has been published for all to see, what is she? Like, a REAL agent…like I’m a REAL editor…I mean beta. *dusts off my resume and contacts Oxford/Bantum/RandomHouse/McGraw Hill/Harcourt General/Pearson/HarperCollins/Simon & Schuster*

      I’m going to make it after alllllll….

      I hope Twankhard can get this video on here:

      • Jane Smith says:


        I am not going to support authors who are pulling their fan fiction to turn it into “original” fiction, because I think what they are doing is WRONG.

        More people need to start thinking about the consequences that the actions of these authors will have on the fandom. S. Meyer, or her legal team, will find out soon enough that people are refurbishing Twilight fan fiction and SELLING IT as “original” fiction, and it would be well within her right to come and shut this whole Twilight fan fiction down.

        S. Meyer will have to circle the wagons and protect HER writing.

      • Anon1 says:

        Ummm before I moved to the US I WAS a “real” editor for the OUP. I edited a prestigious journal, and I was very very lucky to do so. I also write ff, and there is no way my ff would survive the scrutiny I used to put the academic authors through. Just my rwo cents.

    • amaaaazed says:

      I hear she’s coming after you with a can of Lysol and Febreeze for that fart, Anonymous. I’m lighting a candle for you…. for all of us. lol

  4. Author Envy says:

    That picture rocks, though…

  5. Anonymous for now says:

    I just…

    Yeah, I’ve got nothin’. I think I’d have more respect for someone pulling their fic to rework it and make a Porno. But I can’t get over the fucking stupidity of people confusing their twilight ExB fics as original literature.

    My head actually hurts.

  6. anonymous says:

    I’m beginning to understand why people hate OOC/AH stories. I don’t like being used as a test audience, to see whether your original story works or not. It’s manipulative. It’s dishonest. And if you’re a writer doing this, you’re an asshole.

    • give me your money says:


    • amaaaazed says:

      MTE! That’s my main issue with this trend. If they want to be a real published writers, fine! But this is an unethical way to get a start, and I can’t and refuse to respect or support any writer that goes this route.

    • nonnymouse says:

      I actually read a story where the author SAID that she was testing out the premise for a book she wanted to publish. I thought it was great of her to state that outright and was more than happy to give her the feedback she wanted.

      Unfortunately, RL interrupted her writing and she hasn’t continued.

  7. Anonymous says:


    That is all.

  8. Anonymous says:

    *snort* omg I needed a good laugh.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Like a good little freakshow, I counted the words of Lindsey’s two A/Ns. 421. 13 mistakes.

    People with technically perfect manuscripts get rejected by legitimate publishers all the time, but these “authors” think they’re a cut above the rest of us–worthy of interviews and personal appearances, no less–because a glorified vanity press whose staff confuses high review count with quality writing and can’t even properly proofread their own advertisements is letting them “publish” there.

    Let’s face it; there is nothing we can say that will penetrate. These women grew up hearing things like, “Those other kids are just jealous because you’re special” and “What does the band teacher know? You should have gotten that solo!” You can’t beat that.

    • Author Envy says:

      I’m pretty sure the grammar and spelling mistake illustrated the point in the tweets where she says that there were 5 revisions…and the other tweeter is shocked there were only 5…lolz!

      On the “Bad Press” story pull…well, I couldn’t help but bring you this review bc it’s just gold I tell ya- gold…

      2010-10-05 . chapter 1
      plzzzzz…after reading all d reviews i really wanna read dis…i knw d prob u r facing but plzzzz either cme up wid a site r do smthng i really wanna read dis…plzzzzzz”

    • oh jeebus says:

      I grew up hearing those types of things, but that’s only cuz I am special and those bitches were soooo jealous of me. Right? Right?!

      • amaaaazed says:

        Word. Bitches be hatin’, and I actually have audio and visual evidence that it’s because they are jealous and also, because my mom said so.

  10. Twilight Slush says:

    And funny enough both of their stories are on the gdocs site.

  11. Please ETA says:

    You overlooked the glory of “chapter 2” of BMTL which is ALSO an AN!!


    Now, it is with a heavy heart that I take it down completely. This is bitter sweet for me because this is where it all started with all of you and your encouraging words bringing me to this point. As of this moment, I will tell you that the original version of this story, “Lies Inside”, WILL be published this December by The Writer’s Coffee Shop Publishing House. With the help of their talented staff and editors, it has evolved into a beautiful story even better than the one posted here.

    Even better than the one posted there! So hard to imagine anything could beNow, it is with a heavy heart that I take it down completely. This is bitter sweet for me because this is where it all started with all of you and your encouraging words bringing me to this point. As of this moment, I will tell you that the original version of this story, “Lies Inside”, WILL be published this December by The Writer’s Coffee Shop Publishing House. With the help of their talented staff and editors, it has evolved into a beautiful story even better than the one posted here.

    Even better than the one posted there! So hard to imagine anything could be better, isn’t it?

    Which leaves me with just one question: is this masterpiece on the gdocs??

  12. Please ETA says:

    Sorry! That first Even better paragraph is just my fail tryingto post from my phone. Can’t edit or delete comment.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Wow, she will be in Dallas for a Twilight related event?! I will totally go to see her for an interview. Unless I am doing something way more important, like browsing the kid’s shoe section of Nordstrom, or taking a nap…

  14. so obnoxious says:

    i’ve had an absolutely crap day and coming here and seeing a twank i email made me laugh so hard! i really needed that.
    Please contact my press agent for information on future twanks i may or may not be copyrighting…

  15. Anonymous says:

    Wow it looks like all the author of fanfics with lots of reviews are publishing their “original work” now. Why aren’t Meyer’s people going after these people. They are using Twilight to make money. I’ll just stick to completed stories now.

  16. FacepalmsGalore says:

    Okay, so if you planned on ‘professionally publishing’ the story, why did you post it as fan fiction on the open Internet? Why is this such a hard concept for people to grasp? Why do so many people in this fandom lack basic logic? I know it shouldn’t, but it completely blows my mind.

    Just like TWCS having their alleged original fiction authors make personal appearances at TwiCon. There just aren’t words for that.

  17. anon says:

    Don’t you have anything better to twank than pulled fics? It’s getting old.

    • FacepalmsGalore says:

      It really isn’t. What’s beyond old are these delusional, greedy . . . special people who think they should be published and profit off fan fiction.

      As soon as the delusions of grandeur ubiquitous in this fandom subside and people remember this is fan fiction and a hobby, then the twank will get old.

      • anon says:

        So someone pulls a story, big effing deal. It’s just fanfiction, right? A hobby. Yeah it sucks. I hate getting invested in a story just to get no resolution, but I move on.

        But because someone discovered a love for writing and have decided they would like to persue it they are delusional & greedy? I doubt they think they ‘deserve’ a profit off of it, but want to see if they can make a career out of it. Most of these people probably have families to support, so who am I to call them names because they wanna see if they can make it in the real world doing something they obviously love to do. It doesn’t matter if I think their writing is good enough.

        • FacepalmsGalore says:

          “I doubt they think they ‘deserve’ a profit off of it, but want to see if they can make a career out of it.”

          Then write original fiction. Why is that so difficult to understand? They’re not going to make it in the real world (and TWCS and Omnific are most certainly not the real world), but that’s not the point. Fan fiction is a hobby or even a means of honing your craft, it’s not the start of your career. It is not okay for you to publish your derivative work, especially for profit (17 U.S.C. § 106). Nor is it okay to use a fandom as the test audience for your OF that you stupidly converted to fan fiction, but the people who do that screw themselves over enough as it is (don’t baaawwww when you post it and it becomes a runaway train you can’t control. It’s the freaking Internet). If you’re creative enough to write one story, you’re creative enough to write another. Or, don’t post it on the Internet using someone else’s intellectual property. It really is that simple.

    • Dead Horse Protector says:

      Nope, not entirely. Twanking pulled fics for “original” publishing could sustain us all for a lifetime, my dear.

      But I will agree with you on one point – It IS getting old – pulling fics, that is. You want to get upset about it, go and talk to the “old” makers – the authors who pull to publish.

    • amaaaazed says:

      OH YEAH?!



      your mom’s old.

  18. hahaha says:

    omg, I admit, I reported twank on Bad Press. Both authors suck and people like them shudn’t be in the fandom at all!

    *sticking my tongue out to them*

  19. twankhardfan numberone says:

    Marketing agent……….personal appearances……….. bwahahahahaha
    what a total fuckwit

  20. Tact Guy says:

    Holy shit. I’m gonna pull my fic and rework it into a porno. I’m gonna make millions!

  21. Incog Nito says:

    Do any of these girls know the process that they have to go through to get their work copyrighted?

    Putting a ‘C’ in a circle does not make something copyrighted!

    (c) galaxywide

  22. Twilight Slush says:

    I have seen SEVERAL TWCS “authors” bitching on their twitters this week. One said, “I’m going to stab Twankhard.”

    Ummm, REALLY?!

    Sorry you chose to publish with a shit place. Let me know how those royalty checks come in. Heck, 80% of legit authors can’t even make a living from publishing books. How in the hell do these people think they can do it.

    None of them will ever end up on the NYT best seller’s list.

    If any of these people knew anything about the publishing industry, they’d know this and know to steer clear of please like Omnific and TWCS.

    As someone who works in the industry, these people are idiots.

  23. anonymous says:

    First gif ever – hope it works.

  24. Imma Nonnie Toooo says:

    I also like these writers who “pull” but leave the first chapter so they can cling to their x number of reviews.

    PS the cryptic twankhard revealed tweets are bringing the lulz aren’t they? Very cloak and dagger.

  25. whateveriwanttobe says:

    I am by no means the best ff writer out there, and to be honest, I sucked at grammar in high school, (I should have paid attention) but even I know that in this sentence…”I would never of come this far if it weren’t for all of you.” should read…”I never would have come this far if it weren’t for all of you.”

    So many people us the word ‘of’ in the place of ‘have’ and ‘that’ instead of ‘than’ and it drives me nuts when I’m reading someones story.

    Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

  26. Anonymous says:

    I am curiously interested in the part about Dallas TwiCon, I have a “friend” who has indeed published a completely non-Twi original book, only similarity is it’s a paranormal romance. When she tried to get a booth at Twicon to promote said book to young adult audience the organizers told her No, because it wasn’t Twi-related…, or something like that!!!!!

    Seriously – egotistical authors are starting to piss me off more than BNAs

    As with the whole you stole my Fic…..isn’t it only stealing if you don’t give the author credit….otherwise I’d go as far as calling it sharing the fandom love…

    Anywho..this post was prob tl;dr worthy but meh…..

    Keep twanking!!

  27. Who? says:

    And another person pulls their fic. This is the main reason I am not reading fanfiction anymore but love to have the pulled fics and spread them around to everyone to share!
    For some reason, I’m hoping more and more that one day SM’s lawyers are going to sue these 2 ‘publishing houses’ as they seem to get money from SM’s copyrighted characters which you were allowed to play around with. Not to write a stupid story and get it published.
    This is spoiling my fun in the fandom…. But hey I always got Twankhard to keep me laughing about the stuff whats happening in the Fandom!

  28. anonymous says:

    I think it would be quite comical if someone were to go around to some of these “Oh so important” fanfic authors claiming to be publishing companies who want to “publish” their stories. What a riot.. I can’t believe some of these people still keep believing this garbage…

  29. WTFchuck? says:

    ^^^ my message to this most awesomest author

  30. Anonymous says:

    That shit is too funny to commet on as the ‘author’ really says it all!

    Although, I am off to grab my phone so I can ring Shae to make a time to meet with Lindsey in Dallas, so I laugh at her in person!

  31. twankhardyouaremylifenow says:

    Chicken or egg? Writing fanfic or being a tosser?

    Be afraid? Oh, I’m very fucking afraid.

    • Monkey Bum says:

      Chicken or egg.
      Good question.
      Is there a cutoff review number that turns a popular story writer into a twankable BNA?
      At what point does the ego stroking become addictive, inducing chronic self entitled mental masturbation?
      SebastardRutabega, SnowqueensIceDildo, those are obvious.
      Mrs.theKing, Feathersmmm, InstantKarmagirl, Edwardsbloodtype have all been twanked, for one reason or another.
      People have complained about Angstgoddess, Sleepyvalentina, and Lolashoes.
      Who of the BNA’s are left, that haven’t yet overdosed on their readerlove?
      Are ObsessingOverEdward, EZRocksAngel, InABlueBathrobe twankworthy? They all have over 15k reviews, I think. (Or are they *functional* egoholics?)
      We need an at-risk-writer hotline!

      • AnonymousHonesty says:

        EZRock stays pretty quiet and so does InABlueBathrobe.

        EdwardsBloodType started nice but her ego inflated and became a major bitch and showed her true colors when that AngstGoddess twitter crap went down. Many big name authors are appreciative. Everyone gets an ego when they get reviews and the count gets high but some stay grounded enough to NOT think they’re the shit and need to pull their fics and call it an opportunity they have to take or they’ll regret it or an accidental novel.

        Look at hunterhunting. How she stays nice I’ll never know but I like her a lot. When CWAIA got popular she stayed unbitchy. The rest need to learn something from her.

      • Anonymous says:

        Lolashoes…such a C***. She biotched me out when I gave her some feedback she didn’t like, but the feedback I gave her through the entire FIRST and SECOND story (which was good…feedback, not the story) she couldn’t even say “thanks, but I wipe my ass of you”..She’s got an Ego..she’s just not pulled to publish yet.

  32. The real question is... says:

    What really makes a story a story? Is it the character’s names, exterior appearance, and places? Or is it the plot and specific characters within the story? To me it is the latter, and in the case of many, many, many fanfics, these are all new and different, basically original stories with the physical mask of Edward, Bella and the gang taped over them so that they have an actual audience. I’m as guilty of it as anyone. I always try to include throwbacks because it is fanfiction, and sometimes I add a bit more of the original characters personalities in there than I would normally just to make it more E/B like, but beyond that, they are my own creations. When a character is majorly OOC, then, in my humble opinion, they are NO LONGER The ORIGINAL CHARACTER!

    I’m also pretty certain that Twilight fanfiction would have died out years ago if the authors weren’t putting out something somewhat new and different to keep people coming back. Otherwise, we all would have grown bored and wandered away ages ago.

    I am not publishing a fanfic nor do I plan to anytime in the near future, but this is how I feel about this whole debate. For me, I feel like you are most definitely kicking a dead horse who was more than a little weak before you ever got your hands on it. Get over it and moved on already.

    • Anonymouse says:

      I think you’re sort of missing the point. It’s not about people writing fanfic with original plotlines and ‘original’ characters. It’s about this:

      “Answer: In order for a work to be protected by copyright, it must be an original creation set in a fixed medium.

      An artist or author does not have a copyright in material borrowed from someone else. Also, stock characters (the sidekick) or plot lines (boy meets girl) are not copyrightable.”

      The authors that pull their stories keep going on about owning their stories, or add authors notes saying the plot line is copyrighted by them, or complain that posting the story (under their name, not under a different one) somewhere without their authorisation is plagiarism or stealing. And they are wrong. And they keep getting it wrong.

    • Anonymous says:

      Here’s the flaw in your argument, no matter if Edward or Bella are OOC, the other characters are not. In a court of law, Little Brown would have a strong argument in their favor. For a story to be truly original, despite the plot there has to be no ties whatsoever to original story. Twific has thrived not because of the talent but because of the relationship between author and reader. The authors have become psuedo celebrities and the readers their fans.

      There are a handful of stories so far removed from the saga even if they’re AU/AH who can make the above argument. All the rest can’t. I’m sorry, but it’s still fan fic. When you add the location, certain character traits of minor characters, certain attributes, etc plot doesn’t matter. Your story isn’t original. You are still using someone else’s work to generate your story.

    • Anonymous says:

      Great. You’re writing original stories. Good for you. Now, do you mind NOT posting it on and using us twilight fanfiction fans as your test audience? Why don’t you grow a pair, join a real writer’s group, see if your story is good, and go to a reputable publisher to publish? Stop manipulating and using twilight fanfiction readers! Are we supposed to thank authors like you for “keeping the fandom going”? Are you serious? Give us all a break, and take your huge ego to another fandom, please.

    • Dead Horse Protector says:

      Then the author needs to publish the story as Original Fiction somewhere else, not as a Twilight Fan Fiction. If the characters are truly THAT OOC, then there is no place for them under the Twilight label. End of.

      • anonymous says:

        Twi-Fic isn’t going anywhere while there is an incessant need for smut.

        As long as writers give smut, good or bad; weird or just plain wrong, people will read.

        For whatever reason the fandom seems to love reading about Edward and Bella in every position and location possible.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Is there anyone left who’d not pull their stories within a heartbeat? I remember fanfic years ago when people just did it for the fun of it and not with the goal to work on a publishable script and win an audience for that at the same time. They have no shame at all.

  34. HeybbJaysus says:

    Just because FF readers think your are “OMG such an awesome riterrrr!!! wow.” does not mean you can actually write. Why can’t “authors” understand this?

    • Anonymous says:

      I find it funny that they put so much stock in their reviews. Just how many of them are written by 10yr olds who;

      One, shouldn’t be reading the story in the first place.
      Two, probably take twice as long to read the story because they need the extra time to sound out the words.
      Three, still think Hanna Montana is cool.

      Come on. You want an honest opinion of your work? Send it to a real publishing house and wait for the offers to come flooding in…

    • so obnoxious says:

      i think that’s part of the problem. if you haven’t read a book in a while you forget what good writing AND editing looks like. FF is a very indulgent and forgiving medium, real fiction isn’t. but let’s be honest, Twilight wasn’t that well done either. little brown was one of my favorite publishers until i read Twilight. i think they were looking for Harry Potter money but didn’t want to spend a lot of time editing it in case it didn’t pay off. Meyer cribbed darcy and since no one actually wanted to read Pride and Prejudice, instead, it was a success.

  35. Anonymous says:

    OMG, OMG, OMG, do you do ‘Sweet Sixteen’s’ and ‘Bar mitzvah’s’? I wanna real live author comin’ to ma PAR-TAY!

    Appearances… pffft! You, my dear, are no Gondolier or JennyFly. Now those ladies i’d fangirl over in a heartbeat!!

    • Anne Nonnie Mouse says:

      You like writers with talent and class?

      Get outta here with that madness.

      Funny how the writers I admire aren’t the writers that are pulling incomplete fics to try to “publish” with Omnific or TWCS.

    • Anonnnie says:

      I’d buy original material from those two in a heartbeat. I love that all of the writers with actual talent have steered clear of this fuckery.

  36. Gosh Darnit, Janet says:

    Don’t worry, Steph won’t shut Omnific or TWCSPH down because her head is so swollen, like I said yesterday, she thinks she’s Milton and Keats, a great literary influence. She, with her ego, is the biggest twank of all. In her Eclipse fansite press junket, she went on and on about reading her own fanfiction and how the ones she liked the most didn’t even resemble the characters she wrote, so “why aren’t these writers trying to write their own original stories?” She probably credits herself with the creation of these monstronsities and is patting herself on the back while scarfing cheetos and listening to Muse. Don’t worry. Twilight fanfiction isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

  37. In the know says:

    You guys are beating a dead horse. It is what it is – move on already.

    You keep asking why don’t SM people go after Omnific/TWCS, and the answer is simple: they’re not preventing her from making money off her stories/characters. They’re not hindering her ability for future sequels, etc. Frankly, there have been a lot more books published since Twilight that bear much similarity to the Saga than any of these fan fiction stories. If she had the legal standing to sue Omnific, she would have the ability to sue other authors. You cannot copyright an idea.

    And it’s not hard to get an original piece copyrighted, as long as you have proof it’s yours. As much as you guys think it’s black and white, it really isn’t. These stories – and Twilight fan fiction, and by extension, you – are an incredibly small percentage of readership. What you’re doing isn’t going to make an impression on the literary world any more than these fic “authors.”

    Finally, any real publisher (not these Vanity Presses) will make an author sign a disclosure agreement before the final contracts have been signed. If the story was online in any form (and this much more common than you realize with today’s online blogs, etc) the writer will have to disclose it and provide substantial proof of significant changes before final contracts are signed.

    The bottom line is that publishers are in it to make money, period. They know what people will read and what will sell. That’s why there are so many crappy books out there. If they see a story with the potential to sell and increase their profit margin, they’re not going to reject because of it’s origins. As long as they are legally covered, they will publish it.

    But less than ONE percent of submissions are published every year, so the likelihood of any of these being put out by a legit publisher is pretty nil.

    My issue with Omnific and TWCS isn’t what they’re doing- it’s the authors that consider themselves published after printing with them. Print to order IS NOT being published, nor is an editing process that isn’t half as rigorous as the real deal.

    Again, most people don’t know what it takes and that will be made abundantly clear. You guys continuing to take issue isn’t going to make a difference. They won’t survive the process, SM isn’t losing any money, and vanity presses will continue.

    • Anonymasseuse says:

      *gasp* Do you mean to say that Omnific’s “certified” editards aren’t real? Next thing I know, you’ll be telling me that Santa is a figment of my imagination. *sobs*

      • In the know says:

        Sure they are. It’s not hard to get certified as an editor, either. Doesn’t mean their process is remotely close to the real thing.

    • give me your money says:

      Just because you CAN get away with something doesn’t mean you should. The people that run those outfits are first class pricks. They’re are exploiting members of this community for their own financial gain. It is wrong.

      I also know what I think of certain people in this fandom based on their opinions about the matter. Anyone who agrees with what they’re doing is an asshole, and thanks to their reactions to this blog, I can easily avoid them.

      I appreciate this blog for that. I vote to keep flogging.

      • In the know says:

        True. I don’t agree with what they’re doing but my point was that it’s not going to stop until they run out of money.

        That’s very true about just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Kind of like the fic list posted on here. There are plenty of writers on there who pulled with no intention to publish and are paying the price for this groups mission to antagonize thr writers who want to publish. That’s not exactly ethical either.

        • Anonymous says:

          “That’s very true about just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.”

          It’s amazing that this appears on a blog which argues incessantly that pulled fics should be distributed against an author’s wishes. The irony and lack of self-awareness are astounding.

          Or perhaps that statement just doesn’t apply when you don’t want it to.

    • Anonymouse says:

      “Finally, any real publisher (not these Vanity Presses) will make an author sign a disclosure agreement before the final contracts have been signed.”

      I think what you’re talking about re disclosure is the writer would have to be up front with the publisher and let them know if the story has been published or available elsewhere, and this is obviously to ensure the writer isn’t breaching prior contracts.

      What Omnific and TWCS are asking authors to sign is a NON-Disclosure Agreement i.e. preventing them from talking about certain things with other people. And this is not standard publishing practice by any stretch of the imagination. In fact it makes one wonder exactly why they (Omnific) feel the need to get authors to sign one.

    • copywho says:

      While I think you have quite a few good points ‘In the know’ I’m not sure I understand the below statement:

      They know what people will read and what will sell. That’s why there are so many crappy books out there.

      Me thinks you might have just put down many readers of printer books with that statement. Does this mean that if it sells it must be crappy? I actually think it is quite hard to work out where a new author will sell and what won’t. A lot of publishing house sell popular fics (authors that continue to write to formula what sold well years ago) and the ‘in genre’ at the moment (vampires now, chick lit years ago). Profits made from this sustain them so they can publish untested stories that might be the next big thing.

      Stephenie Meyer first published Twilight in 2005. It received some good critical reviews and a growing fanbase. But it wasn’t until Eclipse was published in 2007 that it started to gain momentum (and only then did she actually start earning money in royalties beyond her original advance). With the movie coming out in 2008 her book started to go into the stratosphere. In another words she was not an overnight success. The reality is most writers barely make any money from their books. Quite often the book is pushed out in the market by the publisher and then returned for credit or sold at a heavy discount by the bookseller.

      I think we might be missing the point if we think publishing is the end goal. Surely as a story teller, being read, heard or seen is the point and fanfic is a good avenue for this. If you just want you story in printed form, there are a lot of different websites that can do that for you. If you are looking for critical success, then money may not follow this. If you are looking for bestselling level, then your story may be only part of the reason for success. I know a lot of people will agree that Twilight is not the best written story out there, but SMeyer did write a story that roped us all in with the themes of first love, teenage angst, forbidden love. This combined with an economy in the US that was tanking leaving us with a desire for happy endings and a charming first movie that left us all wondering whether the leads were together in real life. If you can orchestrate all of that yourself, then you too might have a hit on your hands. I do wonder however how an ex fanfic author who becomes a bestseller author would feel about fanfic of their ‘original characters’ and then authors pulling to publish.

      What I do agree with ‘In the know’ is that publishers protect themselves, and will leave out to dry an author who has breached someone else’s copyright without permission. The contract will assert that the author is responsible for permissions, giving them a get out of jail card when someone comes to sue.

    • Incog Nito says:

      I agree with some of what you say here.

      The reality is that most publishing houses (including those that publish erotica) don’t accept unsolicited stories from writers anymore, and that they rely on literary agents to sort through the deadwood.

      If these girls genuinely want to be published, they should be finding agents who represent the stories that they want to publish and who would be willing to take them on.

      This isn’t as easy as what it sounds, and most of them will get rejected, but if the persist, who knows what may happen? JK Rowling was rejected a dozen times before she found a publisher that believed in Harry Potter.

      And you are right about the editing process.
      It is ruthless, demanding, and it takes a thick skin to survive it.
      You’re more likely to hear about what is wrong with your story than what is right with it.
      You will be ruthlessly critiqued and challenged to improve your story and your characters.
      Just because something is good, doesn’t mean that it will stay.
      You will have to make hard choices about things that you want in your story, but aren’t relevant.
      It might mean cutting out your favorite plot development or scene or character entirely.
      The process will make those ‘nasty’ reviews on FF seem like a walk in the park.
      The process should take months, not weeks or hours.
      Writing will no longer be a ‘hobby’ a passion that you will feel compelled to do.

      Then you will go through the publishing process – and that is a tl;dr scenario so I’ll stop now.

  38. nonnie nonnie boo boo says:

    “interviews and personal appearances?” really? wow. i’m going to contact her marketing agent right away!
    i don’t understand how they can do this at a twilight convention. my mind is so boggled about this that i can’t even think of what to say.
    i will say this: i read one of lindseyfair’s stories a while back, and suffice it to say it sucked.

  39. *singing the Doug themesong* says:

    I’m writing an original story. Am I going to change the names and locations to suit Twi Standards and post it on FFn to get an idea about if people will like it? HELL NO! This fandom is full of douchebags.

  40. Anne Nonnie Mouse says:

    If it’s really original fic, as claimed, why are Omnific and TWCS promoting their product exclusively to the Twilight community? I see the same d*mn Three Daves banner at Twilighted every time I visit that site, and TWCS is promoting at a TWILIGHT convention.

    I would love to know the logic here. Usually it’s not a good idea to try to sell to a group you’ve just p*ssed off by treating like lab rats.

    I wonder if Omnific is actually making any money. And now with TWCS, even stories that don’t meet Omnific’s low standards for content and quality are getting “published.”

    • AnonymousHonesty says:

      That thing is hilarious as hell! All these new “original” books and they’re still advertising Three Daves?

      If these books were so original and they were actually legit they’d advertise elsewhere. YouTube trailers no one watches and banners on a TWILIGHT related site yet they bitch about people sharing copies of their “original work.” It’s fan fiction and Twilight related and your advertising only confirms that.

  41. Anonymous says:

    I guess I don’t understand why she would be at a Twi-con event if her story is completely original, all-human and has nothing to do with Twilight. Aren’t those events for things related to Twilight? If her work is “origianal” why does she need to be associated with anything related to Twilight.

  42. what the hell ever says:

    how many loony tunes are out there? everyday a few come out of the wood works!! jeebus

  43. Anonymasseuse says:

    I visited a bookstore in a southern state last week, and overheard some people talking about “arthurs.” Sounds like a good name to me for twific writers, because it seems like a sacrilege to call these dumb clucks “authors.”

    D.H. Lawrence, Dorothy Parker, Charlotte Bronte, and : one of these things is *not* like the others.

  44. Nonnie101 says:

    Please keep blogging on this stuff, Twankhard. Maybe if enough people get twanked, they’ll do their research (or they could just read your post above) and realize what they are doing is potentially very damaging to all of Twilight fan fiction. The entitlement of these people is so astounding to me. It’s stopped being amusing to me, and now it’s just pissing me off.

  45. Anonymous says:

    When will people realise that this is fan fiction???????

    I love that there are so many pig ignorant and arrogant ‘authors’ in the Twi-Fandom that we will NEVER run out of Twanks! There will always be some schmuck ‘author’ thinking they are the one that can bridge the gap to publish their work. Therefore ansue us an endless supply of Twanks!

  46. shocked! says:

    TWCS website has a place for fanfic!

  47. MotherKnowsBest says:

    There is nothing wrong with using fanfic to improve as a writer. To use it as a tool to grow, or expand your creative outlet. But…if you are honestly looking for feedback and constructive criticism to improve these skills, or rate what level of author you are, then FF is not the place to go.

    Out of 2,000 reviews, you *might* get one or two that are actually a well thought out review of your work. Something passed a leg humping or “more soon please.”

    Writing a compelling story that holds someone’s true attention and digs at their emotional core takes serious talent.

    I’m not saying there aren’t FF authors whom do not have this skill, but it is rare and certainly not at the amazing rate we see ‘authors’ pulling stories to ‘publish’.

    The first thing any of these ‘authors’ should do, before contemplating such an endeavor, is sit down and write out a rough draft to an original story line. Then, submit it to a group that is outside the realm of Twilight and simply judges fictional stories for feedback.

    If this task seems to daunting, then chances are, you are not prepared for the real thing and should stick to making Edward a prince and Bella the princess.

  48. CuriosityKilledTheCat says:

    Just out of curiosity, if an author was to produce an original work and publish under those publishing houses, would that be seen as wrong and stupid too?

    I can’t work out if people just hate that they’re taking fanfiction and publishing it or the fact that these publishing houses exist.

  49. S says:

    I just want to add that FF works are publishable if the content is majorly different than the source of where they wrote a FF. I say this bc you all have been making a point to call the people who choose to publish their FFs that have reworked the content as ppl who are stealing from SM and it isn’t true. It isn’t unethical. At least not IMO. It’s unethical to piggy back off of twilight related events BUT is it wrong for authors to solicit that info to the readers of their work on FF? NO. It isn’t. Especially when it comes to All Human stories. There are stories that don’t resemble anything in twilight other than that character names and the way they look physically….and that’s all. If I wrote a FF that was autobiographical but changed the physical appearance of the characters to fit those of Twilight and gave them those canon names…who does that story/intellectual property belong to? ME!

    From the US Copyright Office in reference to derivative works:
    “A typical example of a derivative work received for registration in the Copyright Office is one that is primarily a new work but incorporates some previously published material. This previously published material makes the work a derivative work under the copyright law. To be copyrightable, a derivative work must be different enough from the original to be regarded as a “new work” or must contain a substantial amount of new material. Making minor changes or additions of little substance to a preexisting work will not qualify the work as a new version for copyright purposes. The new material must be original and copyrightable in itself. Titles, short phrases, and format, for example, are not copyrightable.”

  50. Congratulations for perpetuating the Cliche' says:

    Perhaps it’s the hazards of getting involved with a YA story’s fandom, but I’ve been saying for years now that this fandom is like High School Revisited. Congratulations for finding your psuedo-high school niche as the lame Lindsay Lohan movie cliche’ Mean Girls. Watch out Anonnies, because someday you’re going to slip up and say something that comes out wrong and then you’ll be hung out to dry too, because Mean Girls are known for being social cannibals. Just Saying…

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