Archive for the ‘Publishing wank’ Category


I’m a firm believer in kicking a man when he’s down, beating a dead horse, and above all, trying to convince the fandom that publishing with Omnific, and TWCS Publishing house is better than just going to Amazon and cutting out the middle man.

From chapter 1 of  Lindseyfair’s Bring Me To Life.

May 8th, 2010

It pains me in many ways to have to do this, but I am removing all but the first chapter of “Bring Me to Life”. As some of you might know, I have been working on an original version for some time now. I have finally found a publisher and I’m getting ready to send it off shortly after I post this note. I hate to do this because this story is still getting reviews and favorite alerts daily. I apologize to those of you who were unable to read this story completely.

If you keep this story on alert, I will be posting notes as the publish date gets closer. You will also be able to keep up to date on my web site, lindseygray.webs.com (broken link)

Now, after thinking some, we realized that perhaps there is still confusion (how? idk idk)…so we decided to go to the expert–Google:

Question: What is FanFic?

Answer: Fan Fiction (FanFic) is a genre of amateur creative expression that features characters from movies, TV shows, and popular culture in new situations or adventures.

The vast majority of these stories and poems are written by fans with no commercial interest to disseminate their work over the Internet, email lists, or newsgroups…

Now wait–maybe I misunderstood!  Could it be that the expert’s on fanfic have it wrong?

“…Regardless of whether FanFic authors are really fans, owners of original works often do not look favorably upon these works. In response, the owners of the rights often try to stop the creation of FanFic through cease and desist letters and the threat of lawsuit.”

Hmmm…but what about…

Question: What kinds of things are copyrighted?

Answer: In order for a work to be protected by copyright, it must be an original creation set in a fixed medium.

An artist or author does not have a copyright in material borrowed from someone else. Also, stock characters (the sidekick) or plot lines (boy meets girl) are not copyrightable.

But enough about the dead horse…  Publishing can be hard work:

There’s also this (from chapter 1 A/N):

“It looks like I might also be attending the Twilight Convention in Dallas this November as part of this publishing house’s first authors. I would love to meet any of you who will be attending. I will hopefully be able to let you know the release date for my other novel by then.”

Because all books produced by this “publishing house” are so original and not in any way shape or form tied to Twilight that they’re piggybacking off the franchise’s convention.

Okay.

We don’t even know what to do with the fact that she’s announcing that she’ll be at Dallas Twi-con…well, except to show you this post from her blog- just in case you aren’t sure of where she will be and her availability…

Hey all!

As the date creeps near, I will be available for interviews and personal appearances. If you or anyone you know would be interested, please contact my marketing agent, Shae. She can be reached at (714)989-6564 or Shae@thewriterscoffeeshop.com.

This is such an exciting time for me and I hope that you all will be this excited after you read the book. I look forward to discussing it with you all.

And in an unrelated twank that we’re just tossing in here because we can, HappyWanderer’s Bad Press was recently pulled:

They say that imitation is the finest form of flattery; but in the case of plagiarism, I don’t believe this to be true. In recent weeks, there have been a couple of cases of “Bad Press” being hijacked by plagiarizing authors on different websites. (Thank you, once again, to the faithful readers that alerted me to this fact. You know who you are.) With the ultimate goal of publishing this story professionally, I’ve decided to copyright my chapters sooner than expected. As a result, I’m forced to pull my story from fanfiction.I’m aware that most of you will be displeased with me and my decision. I only hope that the artist within each of you will understand where I’m coming from as I circle the wagons and protect my writing.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

HW

PS: If the thieving bastards are reading this, I hope you’re happy and know that I’m coming for you with everything I have. Be afraid.

Be afraid, you thieving bastards!

.

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Twelve twank reports in thirty minutes. It can only mean another round of PULL THAT FIC AND SELL IT!

ekimmuh, author of Finding Bella decided to pull it from FFn in light of the recent pulled/completed fic database (which didn’t even include her story).

From Finding Bella (the only chapter left up), her blog, and a Twilighted.net forum post:

It was brought to my attention tonight that some members of the fandom who are not happy about some of the fanfiction authors publishing their stories have taken it upon themselves to compile a list of fics and put them into a database for everyone to access who wants to. This makes publishing a story that one has written and posted on the fandom extremely difficult. It is sad that these individuals feel that they have the right from the author to take the story they’ve created to a larger readership, but that is exactly what is happening. We all share our writing on the fandom for free, but that does not mean that if we find our work to be ‘good enough’ we would not want to try and publish it and make money from it. We all put a lot of time and effort into these stories.

Our C&P links to all those websites confirming how ILLEGAL that is have begged us to give them a vacation, so we won’t bother.

So, it is with a sad heart that I have removed Finding Bella. Given that I have announced that I am publishing a novel (not Finding Bella), I feel that I, and my story will soon be targeted by this group. Believe me when I say that I do this with great sadness. I know that Finding Bella has a huge following in the fandom and that it will be missed.

That’s a lot of self-importance. Allow us to translate.

*WANK* *WANK* *WANK*

With that said, I want to assure you that you all will get your ended. Unfortunately, due to what is going on, you are now going to wait until the story is published. It will be a series of books instead of one and I am hoping to have the first one out, if all goes well, sometime next year.

At first, we thought this meant she was publishing Finding Bella, even though she just said the paragraph before that she wasn’t, but truthfully, her blog post was so poorly written that we’re not even sure what she means. Since she spends many words defending her copyrights, we’re going to tentatively assume she intends to publish her fanfickshun.

I will not be disappearing from the fandom, and I will probably still write here although I will most likely be sticking to cannon or AU stories from now on.

We’ll all just be jumping to read that, since you treated your HUGE FOLLOWING with such obvious respect with your last story.

I am asking that if you do have a copy of Finding Bella saved on your hard drive that you do not share it. Many of you will not be happy with my decision, but I do hope you understand. This is personal. Whether or not an author used the Twilight characters as a jumping board or not write their story, it is still their story and belongs to them. I ask my readers to please respect that and not help add to this.

In response to a reply on her blog post:

Charmie,

No. This is not selfless. I put a lot of time and energy into this story and if I would like to publish it one of these days then that is something I feel is perfectly within my rights to do as it has nothing to do with Twilight. Putting it on the blog or another site would not protect it from being stolen. The only option was to take it down, which is what I have done.

Insert the same 10 or 20 links to copyright law here.

Just no.

Her Twitter and blog suggest that she’s in support of TWCS, who we twanked last month for basically being thieves. They’re also the “publishing house” that’s about to market such treasures as Just Wait and The Perfect Wife, whose author is about to have some kind of big reveal in the next eight days, idk idk. It’s not a big leap to assume she plans to submit Finding Bella to them as well, if they haven’t already agreed to steal her HUGE FOLLOWING’s money publish it already.

That’s just speculation though. It’s possible she’s going to a real life publisher to query her fanfickshun, but since she recently made an entire blog post whining about Twilighted beta feedback, we don’t think she’s up for all that.

Twilighted is a privately owned site and the administrators have the right to run it as they see fit, however, as the author I have issues with being asked to change my story.

.


This twank has had us laughing all night long. At least 5 Nonnies reported it, but by the time Twankharder2 *glares* got around to checking our email, the author had pulled the material in question. But we could kiss Nonnie #6, who so diligently took a screenshot for your entertainment.

Firstly, we’d like to congratulate Hannah81 (Twilighted validation beta, of course) on this:

ACO would be All Cried Out, a twilight fanfiction that she completed and later removed. She still has the outtakes on her fanfiction.net profile.

She’s obviously been terribly busy, editing the fanfiction into a marketable masterpiece (and only in one month!).

We all know how illegal immoral difficult it must be to transform a fanfiction into something resembling an original work. We imagine there must be an abundance of search and replace plot and character revisions. So much, that she’d basically have to rewrite the story.

Omnific was pleased with the revisions Hannah chose, and look how excited she is! She is going to be real life published by a real life publishing company! Break out the champagne! All that searching and replacing hard work paid off!

But first, Hannah must tell her readers! And how better to tell her readers than to offer them a oneshot with an A/N proclaiming she now has absolute ownership of All Cried Out, and Oh! She hopes you’ll buy the book! She realizes you already read the fanfiction, but this book is going to be so different. Practically not even the same thing.

But the chapter update doesn’t exist. This is the point where Twankhard taps a finger against our chins and hems and hahs.

Enter, Nonnie of the Week! She took a screenshot before Hannah81 removed the chapter, probably in a  fit of total embarrassment.

(Click to see fullsize)

Note that every recognizable Twilight character and location name now has a new one smooshed up beside it. EdwardWesley and CharlotteBella are just so glad Hannah81 took the time to properly edit her fanfiction into something original and publishable. It’d be awful to know she used search and replace, and awfuller to know she didn’t even do that correctly. Awfuller even to know she’d post it by accident without even reading it through.

Hannah81 is clearly publishing material.

(PatrickJasper/ChloeAlice OTP)

.


(Really, we’re trying to do more general Twilight Fandom crap, but this whole publishing phenomenon has spread worse than a case of herpes, and the hypocrisy is a lollercoaster of amazing.)

This all starts out with a thorough Nonnie Mouse. She sent us a twank on someone else, but we don’t have enough lulz for that yet, so we’re twanking her second suggestion, because Twanker in question just gives us so much material.

We’ll start with the A/N, because doesn’t everything?

5.21.10 I’m posting this here as well, since there have been several people who started the story after the fact, and have sent hateful reviews. After an agonizing process, I made the decision to pull NYA from FFN and Twilighted, because I want to try to publish it. I’ve been told by many with experience that this is the first step, and it should have been done long before now, but I chose to allow my readers to finish the story. I’m really sorry you missed out, but I’ve worked hard to help out those who were in the middle of the story. If you just found it today, please don’t send me hateful reviews. Thanks.

DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns any and all things Twilight. The plot belongs to me!

That’s a lot of self-importance, allow us to translate:

*BAWWW BAD REVIEW*

*I’M GOING TO BE LYKE A REEL ARTHUR OMG!*

*MY REVIEWERS TOLD ME I WAS LYKE SO AWESUM*

*STOP HAVING OPINIONS BAWWW*

*MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT*

One wanky A/N for all that wasn’t enough. She added another to the bottom a month or so later.

AN: 7.5.10 A new note thanks to all the messages – some not very kind.

First off, this story was completed on May 2, two months ago. I waited until the reviews had all but stopped coming in before I pulled, and that was on May 21st. I knew there were a few still reading, so I created a temporary, private Live Journal account for those people to finish it. That account was left open for over a month, and I’ve only recently taken it down. Of course, it turns out there were over 100 people still reading, many of whom had never reviewed. It’s very difficult to know who is still following your story when they aren’t telling you about it.

I understand readers frustration with authors pulling, but please don’t take it out on me. I feel I’ve done more than most authors who pull their stories. Some have asked why I even bothered to post this story here if I was going to pull it. The reason is because when I began writing NYA, I had NO idea I would try to publish. I was simply enjoying FF at the time, and wanted to get back into writing because it’s always been something I enjoyed. I didn’t realize until about halfway through that it had the potential (and I’m still not sure it does) and even then it took me quite a while to get the guts to do it. It’s not an easy decision for a writer, and it’s never black and white. I will say that I was advised by several people to pull the story well before it was finished if I had intentions of publishing, but I didn’t want to do that to my readers.

I feel I’ve done the best I could, and at the end of the day, this is my story, and something I need to do for myself.

Secondly, if you’re going to leave an unsigned review with a nasty remark about a story that’s been published for a while, be sure to spell disappointed correctly.

That’s a lot of inaccuracy and reviewer bashing, allow us to translate:

*BAWWW BAD REVIEW*

*BAWWW YOU DIDN’T REVIEW*

*PUBLISHING FANFICKSUN IS SO HARD *

*MY REVIEWERS TOLD ME I WAS LYKE SO AWESUM*

*MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT* *MISGUIDED OWNERSHIP ATTEMPT*

*REVIEWER BASHING* *REVIEWER BASHING* *REVIEWER BASHING*

We don’t want to beat any decaying equine-centric corpses, but if we did, we’d probably just link these again. But then again, we wouldn’t even have to, because the author, EBalways, has already read our blog. We bet that went well!

Just to show we twank all sides, all the time, EBalways had a few laughs over the RPL twank.

But then, we guess she caught of wind our whole stealing is stealing, even when you’re stealing by means of publishing fanfiction theme.

Then, we guess she caught wind of our whole links with facts which prove you can’t publish fanfiction thing.

And we weren’t really funny anymore.

='(

So she’s going to ignore the law opinions of others, because it can’t just be that she might be wrong. No. The entirety of fandom and copyright law must be wrong (unless we’re mocking other plagiarists). JUST LOOK AT RUSSET NOON!

Right.

To tie it all in a bow, she even has a blog, where she documents the long, windy path she must endure to search/replace the names and places edit the plagiarism story into a marketable masterpiece. This same blog boasts the twanktastic long-winded self discussion about her own stories, constructed criticism vs nitpicking/bawwww, and of course, the popular girls of fandom whose ginormous EGOS are holding us all down rant.

That sounds fun! Let’s quote this one!

Egos seem to flare when a fic becomes uber popular, and everyone in the fandom is flailing over the writer. I don’t get it; you just wrote a story using someone elses characters. You didn’t create world peace or solve the homeless problem. You wrote story that’s easy to read and loaded with sex. Good on you…

Which is definitely not the same as posting fanfiction without the intention of publishing, but then pulling it and attempting to do so once it’s gotten 5,800 reviews. Uh huh.

…I’ll complain about readers, too.

We never saw that coming.

I’ve not had too much of a problem as far as pulling NYA, but I’ve seen sites discussing how wrong it is to pull fan fiction and try to turn it into original work. Really? Why? Because you can’t read it for free?

Well… we we’re going to say because it’s unethical and not legal, but that’s about the same thing, in a roundabout way.

I’m sure only about 1% of the fics that get pulled for publishing go anywhere, but the people complaining about it don’t seem to realize what it takes to write a story.

Hey now. That offends us. We can make grammatically incorrect porn with “Edward/Bella” names too. That’s how SM got started, you know. She posted Twilight online first to use someone else’s audience as a guinea pig too. We all know what it takes to write a real story here.

ETA: FLOUNCITY FLOUNCE FLOUNCE

From her FFn profile

Due to unforeseen issues, I have to leave the Twific community. Thanks to all who have supported me throughout my experience, and I’m truly sorry to all those reading. I don’t like disappointing anyone. There is so much going on in my life, and I’m just not able to keep up with fan fiction any more. This was a tough decision, and I ultimately had to decide what was best for myself. Take care, and please remember to have fun with fan fic. That was the intent all along.

She buhleted her Blogger, took her ball and went home. Never mind that she promised all the readers she was complaining about that she would definitely complete The Hostage and not pull it.

.


I think SR pulled a major twank by pulling the fic down between the final chapter and the epi. SR did it with NO explanation or even acknowledgment on the ffn profile or epi a/n, an acknowledgment but no explanation given at all as to why it was pulled down (minus a reference to disappointment about the bit torrent the week before) in the twilighted thread

Well if we can twank Olivia for it, then why not our good man-pal SR? At least Olivia fessed up and aired out her publishing-fantasies. SR would rather beat around that particular bush (you’re about as transparent as saran wrap, man) with a quite convenient (alleged) plagiary tantrum.

His Fanfiction.net profile reads like your usual spiel of self-importance:

No translations of UOEM have been authorized. No downloading, copying, reposting or distribution of this story have been authorized, either, regardless of the source.

As do his Author Notes:

Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The original content, ideas and intellectual property of this story are owned by Sebastien Robichaud and copyrighted, as of 2009. Plagiarism is theft and is treated as such in many different countries. Translations of UOEM have not been authorized, nor has any downloading, copying, reposting on other websites or distribution of this story, regardless of the source.

And it wouldn’t be complete without his very own domain name, http://www.sebastienrobichaud.com/, and blog to further reach his masses. All of this screams “E-G-O” to us, but does it really come as a big surprise? Especially with such recent forum comments as these:

Laughs…while I have heard from him with reviews and Pm’s the only post he responded to from me here was recently when I posted my Twilight band-aids so it wasn’t actually to me…oh he did wish me a happy birthday in an AN and called me a “cherished reader” which made me melt, and I like how he calls us “miss”, muses, ladies and today Lovelies!

And don’t forget (as if she’d let you) that he has the fandom’s first and only Big Named Reader (yes, BNR, it exists now) on his team. Of course, you haven’t made it big in this fandom until squalloogal mortifies you showers you with redundantly fannish and blind praise. Every big author needs a sycophant cheerleader to build them mega-FGB teams and turn something like a humble charity into a laughable competition of Twilight fanfiction author egos. She’s flounced deleted that Twitter, so while we can’t provide the hilarity of screenshots for that particular twank, we’ll just leave you with this: the weird emotional devastation she displayed when being cyber-bullied during FGB on that same twitter account earlier this year:

I use to be a tough girl who could handle anything. Really sassy and brassy. After I was attacked that girl died. I no longer have the coping mechanisms to deal with this constant assault. I am sorry.

For those who have judged me.

I forgave those that changed my life that night. I live with those scars physically and emotionally everyday but I wish them NO ill will. I forgave them.

For those doing what your doing. I forgive you too but I just can’t cope.

We love a good, dramatic overreaction. Nonnie from earlier today said it best:

We can follow that up with the dramatic entrances and exits from Twi-World. She’s had more comings and goings than Paris and Lindsay combined.
The drama of ‘blocking’ and ‘unblocking’ twitter users, the big epic posts on the UoEM/MoTU forum about why she is leaving, the big epic posts from her supporters about why this is a disaster, the supporting posts from the writers about how terrible it is to lose someone like Squally.
Squally leaving the fandom for a few weeks is guaranteed to result in a few hundred posts on a Twilighted forum. It’s all about the drama.

But… moving on…

So while there are emotionally-unstable-fangirls aplenty just waiting for the moment to strike their mighty insanity down upon any who would cause their beloved Edward SR harm, we had to wonder. Is this guy for real? Not in a does he really have bits dangling between his legs kind of way, because we could really care less what his gender is. But really. Is he for real?

Did he really pull UoEM because of this whole bit torrent fiasco? Or is he just jerking his faithful readers along until it’s announced that he wants their money support in an upcoming publishing endeavor?

Since this can neither be confirmed or denied, we figured we’d just wait it out until something juicy and incriminating came along.

Enter, Nonnie.

Why do we love Nonnies? Because they can singlehandedly sift through the shit heap known as The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud’s Twilighted thread and come out with the best quotes. We’d do it ourselves, but we’re just too fond of our brain cells and individualism to plunder through 5,038 pages of blind admiration and borderline disturbing flirtation.

Posted by SebastienRobichaud on Mon Nov 16, 2009 7:03 pm

I’m afriad it’s inevitable. There’s almost no way to control who uploads the story and disseminates it, not to mention who translates it.
The only way to truly address the issue is to sue the bastards who steal the work.

Unfortunately, it’s the best and most popular stories that are stolen.
But no, I’m not about to pull the story. I know this is not a novel that could be published in its own right anyway; it’s given me the confidence to think I could write a novel and send it to a literary agent. So for me, plagiarized or not, it’s already served its purpose.
But that’s too bad about the stories that were pulled already.

SR

Posted by SebastienRobichaud on Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:06 am

…there will be no LOMAH.
Barring an unforeseen disaster or (God forbid) my untimely demise, I will finish the story and post it. Period.
Plagiarism won’t scare me off; I have friends who are Sicilian.

Posted by SebastienRobichaud on Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:09 pm

Hello Stephk,
You’re welcome.
Once I started the story, there was no way I was going to pull it.
I think that would be unethical.

Posted by SebastienRobichaud on Mon Oct 26, 2009 4:40 pm

Yes, I promise all of the answers will be answered.
Even if I need an epilogue and an appendix numerically listed in order to do so.
And as I said earlier to someone, I’m not pulling the story.
Never.
I knew when I began it that in so doing I was obligated 1) to finish it in a timely manner and 2) never to pull it even if it is stolen/plagiarized
no ITLOMAH for me or my readers.
SR

Hypocrisy tag says: “Too easy.”

So now we get SR’s game. It’s all very obvious to us. It’s unethical and wrong to pull a story for something as silly as plagiarism, unless it gets really illogically popular (and some crooked archive offers to give you money for the rights to the PDF).

Quick! How many languages can we say “sell out” in?

I also wonder if this snippet from his profile will grace the jacket PDF notes:

Throughout the course of the story classical literature, music and art from Western culture will be referenced. No prior knowledge of any of these elements is required. But if one desires to travel more deeply into the heart of the labyrinth, these sources will provide clues to the successive mysteries contained in the story.

We hate to spoil it for you, but…

EDWARD’S EVEN MORE MISOGYNISTIC WITHOUT THE COOL TWILIGHT NAME ATTACHED TO GIVE US REFLECTIVE CONTEXT.

Just saying.

ETA: Some lulzy review twank

From FanFiction.net reviewer dottiez123
2010-07-19 on chapter 40 of The University of Edward Masen

I love being the basis for a character (“Amanda L’Union”).

But you do have a few inconsistencies with the characterization:

1) I’m a literature professor at a major US university;

2) many of your readers attend (or have attended) community colleges, so it’s rather impressive that you’re INSULTING YOUR READERS BY INSINUATING THEIR EDUCATIONAL ROUTES ARE SOMEHOW SUBSTANDARD TO YOUR OWN;

3) if you had any knowledge of community colleges, you would know that they’re often alternatives for high-achieving students who don’t have adequate funds to attend a college or university;

4) most community colleges are staffed solely by PhDs (something you lack); and

5) most community colleges pay better than many private colleges and universities (I know this as the daughter of a retired community college professor).

It’s clear that I intimidate you tremendously, as evidenced by basing a character off of me and using the EXACT words I used in an earlier review, just to cite two examples.

Your story is utter nonsense, and your writing is stilted indulgent. And shame on you for blocking reviews from my original account. It’s clear you cannot take criticism. DO YOU BLOCK ALL REVIEWERS WHO SAY SOMETHING NOT TO YOUR LIKING? Tsk, tsk.’

From Twilighted forum post:

Re: The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud
by Sebastien Robichaud on Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:41 pm
Forum: Alternate Universe – Human
Topic: The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud Replies: 50399 Views: 475933

Dear Everyone,

Thanks for reading and posting your theories. I’m going to try to post a teaser early Tuesday …

Those of you who were in on the whole beret episode will be surprised to learn that the reader who trashed my beret as effete pretension is still reading UOEM …. 5 chapters later.

In fact, in reviewing this chapter, she huffed that I should at least ask her permission before quoting one of her reviews.

Sorry if this seems small of me, but her review (and the fact that after pronouncing UOEM as rubbish she is STILL reading it) made me laugh.

So of course, I had to share the humour with you all. And post a few smileys … :lol: :geek:

We’re glad to see SR has such an amazing sense of humor, because creating villains as a form of fan-fic revenge against reviewers is pretty high up there in OMG WTF GET OVER YOURSELF.

.


Here at Twankhard, we love our nonnies. They always send us the very best self-entitlement.

…the author thinks it is reasonable to pull her stories because recently there was a torrent being passed around which made epub files available to the public. Some of the sites the torrent were hosted on were a little suspect I guess, but mostly, it was just a torrent. We pirate movies and music and programs. I can’t wait to see Rob throw his hands in the air and flounce acting because his movies are being illegally shared online. Screenshots attached. The Twitter is public (for now). Not sure about the Twilighted forum post. Up to you.

Yes, I think we saw this with Sebastian Robitard recently. Someone steals someone else’s work, so someone else comes up with the brilliant plan of pulling the entire story, so that no proof of “I published first, see?” can ever be found. C-L-E-V-E-R.

(We’re being sarcastic.)

Usually, all of us here at Twankhard would see this as a thinly veiled excuse to pull for publishing.

Enter, Oliviamk1218.

Her story is one of 153 included in the torrent. It doesn’t seem to matter that her penname is given credit in the file, or even that the creator probably shared the files out of love for the stories included, and no malice at all.

No, whoever this person is that put Olivia’s stories into that torrent has RUINED HER LIFE. Don’t believe us?

Regardless, we’re glad to see Olivia that didn’t completely overreact or anything. That would have been funny and ridiculous on so many levels.




*crickets*

We’re torn, TwiFandom. We want to point and laugh, and knock Olivia off her misguided pedestal, but we feel a little sorry for the girl. Her heart? Broken. Her trust? Betrayed. An abundance of her writerly pride? A Twilight Fanfiction. Yes, there is definite pity, but one of us was wondering…

Okay, but is this story… copyrighted… or is it like… “copyrighted“?

So… who wants to be the first clue Olivia into the workings of the publishing industry? Because we’re pretty sure no publisher (we mean real publishers) would touch a formerly posted Twilight Fanfiction with a 20 foot sparkling vampire dick, regardless of the copyright that was filed.

Okay, so wait. Has this copyright been… filed… or has it been like… “filed“?

We’ll never care know. What we do know is that Olivia is so very misinformed. And that makes us feel amused badly. Authors can’t post copyrighted material on Fanfiction.net, and they can’t copyright material that’s already been posted on fanfiction.net. Because it is FANFICTION.net. We mean… they “can”, but they… can’t.

It’s a good thing that Olivia is remaining loyal and respectful to her readers. Obviously she’s going to need their money support whenever her fanfiction becomes Cinderella’d into the world of real life literature. It’d be a little shitty to insert the stereotypical “You shouldn’t be passing around others’ free and publicly available story (unless it’s a link to the free and publicly available story)” tirade to people who just responded positively to her “test”.

And…. GO!

(ETA: The ad at the top of this screenshot. Just…. this ad. That’s all.)

We just feel bad for you, Olivia. You were right to pull your stories. You would be even more right to never again use someone else’s audience as guinea pigs for your own experiments and expect them to respect a dubious copyright. And this?:

…is maybe how you should be approaching fanfiction from now on. But I suppose all of us here at Twankhard just feel lucky Olivia didn’t kick it up a notch and start threatening fake legal action against her faithful guinea pigs readers.

Ouch. Aren’t you taking everything a little too seriously, Olivia? Stephenie Meyer lets you “test” the success/profitability of your own plots with the very characters she created, and even she’s not taking legal action (though she probably should). It’s almost like you can’t make it on your own based 100% off your own merit.

Hypocrisy tag! Score!

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We knew this one was going to come eventually. For months, InstantKarmaGirl‘s sadomasochistic epic, Just Wait has been the center of controversy. With such gratuitously exploited themes as diabetes, child sexual abuse, religious fanaticism, gang rape, sexual promiscuity, child neglect, drug abuse, depression, self mutilation, and more recently, mental handicaps (we could go on and on), the uproar has been understandably intense.

It must really suck ball to be IKG right now.

With all of this contention and misplaced popularity, it’s no surprise that she has big plans to revisit this (alleged) heap of crap and market it as something worthy of being purchased.

First, JW is being published in a series of books. I know some people will be shocked and horrified and have nothing but negative things to say, while others will be happy and supportive. Both are valid reactions. I’m sure Twitter will be abuzz…

Shocked? No. Horrified? Let’s not flatter ourselves. Nothing but negative things to say? Yeah, you really hit the ball into our court with this, we must admit.

And it wouldn’t be a full-on twankfest until IKG announces her plans to pull the story in October (All of us here at Twankhard are oh so very mournful).

While IKG and Just Wait are easy targets, we thought we might take some time to look into the “publishers” of this “story.” Isn’t the owner of any profit-making endeavor responsible for the quality of their product? Or maybe even the moral dilemma of knowing for a fact that the only individuals who’ll be purchasing this “series” are IKG’s longtime fandom supporters. That wouldn’t be taking advantage of them at all. Not for the gain of a third party. No. Nor would they have to deal with consequences of knowing that the use of SM’s characters in the fanfiction incarnation is the only contribution that might make the series profitable in the first place.

Taken from the TWCS Publishing House website:

Authors need an original idea. We discourage copying and pasting from a FanFiction story.  Meaning, taking out aspects from within other fictional works and/or Fandoms and replacing them with different names, places, etc. Remember you first audience is your original FanFiction readers, and they will want to read new works rather than recycled ones.

They can’t be completely moronic, since they publicly recognize the crookedness of transforming fanfiction into something masquerading as original fiction. But then it seems as though they’re participating in the very thievery they denounce, so I suppose we can add the “hypocrisy” tag to this blog post now. Score.

The Writer’s Coffee Shop Publishing House  is also allegedly publishing another controversial fanfiction, The Perfect Wife, which boasts such gratuitously exploited themes as incest, sexual abuse, misogyny, child abuse, rape, gang rape, drug and alcohol abuse, sex trafficking, etc etc etc etc (we see a pattern here).

According to their website:

Ebooks is a fairly new way to publish. We would like to concentrate on this area as there are not many good novels currently available in this format. We believe we can change that. We will still offer printed books, however our focus is ebooks at present. Our first books in print will be in October 2010.

So… okay, it’s not like we approached this news as legitimate “publishing” in the first place, but since they’re basically just making the most horrific Twilight fanfics in existence into PDF files and slapping a price on them, we figure it not only makes them wrongful crooked thieves, but cheap wrongful crooked thieves, amirite? The tags just keep growing and growing.

But since the author of The Perfect Wife (which we refuse to link on grounds of… being sane) had plans of seeing her name grace the cover screen of a newly minted PDF file this summer, and Twankhard has heard nothing of it’s book PDF release (and we would), we can only assume that TWCS has either gotten smart cold feet, or that they’re actually Thieving Wrongful Crooked Slackers.

The acronyms don’t lie.

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Does it come as a huge surprise that our first (blog-worthy) submitted twank hails from the ever-masturbatory feathersmmmm? Not to us, it doesn’t.

For the sake of hilarity, let’s rewind back to a simpler time in fandom. The entire TwiFic blog phenomenon was just being born, and with that came Twigasm, which for those of you who may be unfamiliar, was/is an adult-catered Twilight FanFiction podcast. Feathers, who was at the time authoring the RPF love story I Love L.A. (which has since been pulled for publishing and reworked into the masterpiece we know today as The Unidentified Personalities Redhead) was one of the authors involved.

Since Omnific (a controversial, Twilighted.net business that takes mediocre, yet popular fanfictions and edits them for the purpose of monopolizing off their guise of original fiction) sprinkled Feathers with the ill-gotten gains of publishdom, the author has become widely known for a long string of incredibly verbose and wanktastic author notes. In fact, like any good twankhard, she seems to love the attention (we know you’re reading, chicken), often transparently making the A/Ns as long as she possibly can, while passive aggressively instigating her critics.

Her most recent A/N defends her use of the endearment “chickens” (duh, it means she fucking loves you, you flock of sanctimonious morons). It also promotes her upcoming sequel to The Unidentified Talent Redhead, which she just knows you’ll buy, because you weren’t bored by the complete lack of characterization in the first one entirely fulfilled by her first, admit it.

But this isn’t where the real twank comes in. We were notified of the activity on her Twitter account this evening, and we had to admit. We were quite amused. While it’s against our rules to post screenshots of private Twitter accounts, we couldn’t resist a little creative re-enactment.

Isn’t it funny when people take things too seriously?

Like whenever mediocre fanfiction authors write a self-insert story about boning Robert Pattinson, and then proceed to dress it up as actual literature once it gains a little steam in the community?

Yes.

No matter what I do or how I explain myself, some people aren’t going to like me.

True, but it probably helps if we’re not being preached at/told to go fuck ourselves every single A/N.

Is it ever okay for authors to bash another author’s story?

Oh, this is going to get good. Translation: Someone who actually holds some weight in this community was a big fat meanie pants.

I love concrit. I just think it should only be given by critics whose ultimate goal in giving it is to see the author excel.

I’ll remember that next time I go to see an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

On public vs private criticism: If you sling nasty shit, then own up to it, slather your dildos in it, wear it on your dumb faces.

It’s okay to sling shit in public so long as you wear the feces as warpaint. We’re with you.

I have negative opinions on stories, but I never share them in public.

Wait…. what?

We’re too unmotivated to go through your timeline and prove you wrong. (And we would.)

Feel free to flame me.

Don’t worry, we will.

I’m not judging anyone.

No, you’d never do that. You’re too busy “staying classy” and using your very public A/Ns as a tool to attack and incite your critics.

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