Posts Tagged ‘authors notes’


Twelve twank reports in thirty minutes. It can only mean another round of PULL THAT FIC AND SELL IT!

ekimmuh, author of Finding Bella decided to pull it from FFn in light of the recent pulled/completed fic database (which didn’t even include her story).

From Finding Bella (the only chapter left up), her blog, and a Twilighted.net forum post:

It was brought to my attention tonight that some members of the fandom who are not happy about some of the fanfiction authors publishing their stories have taken it upon themselves to compile a list of fics and put them into a database for everyone to access who wants to. This makes publishing a story that one has written and posted on the fandom extremely difficult. It is sad that these individuals feel that they have the right from the author to take the story they’ve created to a larger readership, but that is exactly what is happening. We all share our writing on the fandom for free, but that does not mean that if we find our work to be ‘good enough’ we would not want to try and publish it and make money from it. We all put a lot of time and effort into these stories.

Our C&P links to all those websites confirming how ILLEGAL that is have begged us to give them a vacation, so we won’t bother.

So, it is with a sad heart that I have removed Finding Bella. Given that I have announced that I am publishing a novel (not Finding Bella), I feel that I, and my story will soon be targeted by this group. Believe me when I say that I do this with great sadness. I know that Finding Bella has a huge following in the fandom and that it will be missed.

That’s a lot of self-importance. Allow us to translate.

*WANK* *WANK* *WANK*

With that said, I want to assure you that you all will get your ended. Unfortunately, due to what is going on, you are now going to wait until the story is published. It will be a series of books instead of one and I am hoping to have the first one out, if all goes well, sometime next year.

At first, we thought this meant she was publishing Finding Bella, even though she just said the paragraph before that she wasn’t, but truthfully, her blog post was so poorly written that we’re not even sure what she means. Since she spends many words defending her copyrights, we’re going to tentatively assume she intends to publish her fanfickshun.

I will not be disappearing from the fandom, and I will probably still write here although I will most likely be sticking to cannon or AU stories from now on.

We’ll all just be jumping to read that, since you treated your HUGE FOLLOWING with such obvious respect with your last story.

I am asking that if you do have a copy of Finding Bella saved on your hard drive that you do not share it. Many of you will not be happy with my decision, but I do hope you understand. This is personal. Whether or not an author used the Twilight characters as a jumping board or not write their story, it is still their story and belongs to them. I ask my readers to please respect that and not help add to this.

In response to a reply on her blog post:

Charmie,

No. This is not selfless. I put a lot of time and energy into this story and if I would like to publish it one of these days then that is something I feel is perfectly within my rights to do as it has nothing to do with Twilight. Putting it on the blog or another site would not protect it from being stolen. The only option was to take it down, which is what I have done.

Insert the same 10 or 20 links to copyright law here.

Just no.

Her Twitter and blog suggest that she’s in support of TWCS, who we twanked last month for basically being thieves. They’re also the “publishing house” that’s about to market such treasures as Just Wait and The Perfect Wife, whose author is about to have some kind of big reveal in the next eight days, idk idk. It’s not a big leap to assume she plans to submit Finding Bella to them as well, if they haven’t already agreed to steal her HUGE FOLLOWING’s money publish it already.

That’s just speculation though. It’s possible she’s going to a real life publisher to query her fanfickshun, but since she recently made an entire blog post whining about Twilighted beta feedback, we don’t think she’s up for all that.

Twilighted is a privately owned site and the administrators have the right to run it as they see fit, however, as the author I have issues with being asked to change my story.

.

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This twank has had us laughing all night long. At least 5 Nonnies reported it, but by the time Twankharder2 *glares* got around to checking our email, the author had pulled the material in question. But we could kiss Nonnie #6, who so diligently took a screenshot for your entertainment.

Firstly, we’d like to congratulate Hannah81 (Twilighted validation beta, of course) on this:

ACO would be All Cried Out, a twilight fanfiction that she completed and later removed. She still has the outtakes on her fanfiction.net profile.

She’s obviously been terribly busy, editing the fanfiction into a marketable masterpiece (and only in one month!).

We all know how illegal immoral difficult it must be to transform a fanfiction into something resembling an original work. We imagine there must be an abundance of search and replace plot and character revisions. So much, that she’d basically have to rewrite the story.

Omnific was pleased with the revisions Hannah chose, and look how excited she is! She is going to be real life published by a real life publishing company! Break out the champagne! All that searching and replacing hard work paid off!

But first, Hannah must tell her readers! And how better to tell her readers than to offer them a oneshot with an A/N proclaiming she now has absolute ownership of All Cried Out, and Oh! She hopes you’ll buy the book! She realizes you already read the fanfiction, but this book is going to be so different. Practically not even the same thing.

But the chapter update doesn’t exist. This is the point where Twankhard taps a finger against our chins and hems and hahs.

Enter, Nonnie of the Week! She took a screenshot before Hannah81 removed the chapter, probably in a  fit of total embarrassment.

(Click to see fullsize)

Note that every recognizable Twilight character and location name now has a new one smooshed up beside it. EdwardWesley and CharlotteBella are just so glad Hannah81 took the time to properly edit her fanfiction into something original and publishable. It’d be awful to know she used search and replace, and awfuller to know she didn’t even do that correctly. Awfuller even to know she’d post it by accident without even reading it through.

Hannah81 is clearly publishing material.

(PatrickJasper/ChloeAlice OTP)

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You know it’s going to be lulzy when chapter 1 is nothing but A/N and it still has over 4,000 reviews.

There Will be Blood by johnnyboy7

Dear Faithful Readers (who from this moment on, will be called Johnny’s since I’m vain like that haha).

Welcome to a new adventure from my mind and trust me, its going to be a trip.

If you’ve been reading some of my other stuff aka THVC or LDV,

you will know that I am a pretty extensive writer who enjoys diving head first into the lives and characters of my stories. This story is going to be no different and expect long, detailed chapters.

This is a Bella/Edward, ALL HUMAN story and is very OCC as far as the Cullen’s go. I don’t want reviews telling me this because I wrote the story so I know this is going to be totally different from Stephanie Meyer’s stuff. This is a pure Johnnyboy7 creation. Remember that.

We’ve never ready anything like this before!

Also, since this is going to be a ‘life story’, there won’t be drama and lemons in every chapter. Of course, you know I love my smut and drama but it won’t be happening every day.

Life story? More like an autobiography AMIRITE?

Just let the story progress and stick with it. I promise you’ll be on a roller coaster from the prologue.

Well, since you demanded asked so nicely…

Now on to the technical stuff; this story will have alternating Bella/Edward POV’s by chapter except for the prologue, which was just something I was trying out. There will be cannon pairings but like I said before, Edward is VERY DIFFERENT.

Well maybe I should say that he isn’t different but for a human, he can be pretty messed up. Think of him as the closest thing to vampire as a human can be.v

THIS IS A MAFIA STORY.

ALL THE THINGS THAT COME WITH THAT WILL BE IN THE SUBSEQUENT CHAPTERS.

That brings me to my next part of my first of many author’s rants. This story is a very intricate reflection of the underground crime world.

The mob is never a clean thing so this story won’t be either.

IF YOU AREN’T OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE THEN PLEASE JUST SKIP RIGHT OVER THIS STORY AND COME BACK WHEN YOU’RE OLDER.

CAN WE AT LEAST STILL CLICK ON ALL THE OUTFIT PICTURES ON YOUR PROFILE, JOHNNY? OH PLEASE!

This story has blood, gore, violence, guns, references to religion, drugs, alcohol, language, dirty lemonade and so much more. It’s rated M for a reason; very dark themes dealing with the mafia and crime families. I think I use the word ‘fuck’ or some variation of it at least twenty times in the first chapter.

… wasn’t Edward supposed to be VERY DIFFERENT?

Expect lots of Mobward. He’s not a very close ‘Twilight’ Edward. Bella is closer to the books but not fully. Although he might ‘soften’ throughout the story, don’t expect him to ever truly be fluffy per se.

I think that’s all. I just wanted to warn everyone before we get this thing started.

I know I’m sounding like a ‘father’ right now

Is that what they’re calling tools now?

He ends the rest of the chapters in BOLD SHOUTY CAPS, telling the reader what they should be focusing on and worrying about, narrating the rise in reviews, and promoting contests that he REALLY WANTS TO WIN SOMETHING from!

Chapter 13:

AND GOOD NEWS…LEMON COMING UP NEXT! I KNOW HOW PERVY YOU ALL ARE

Chapter 14:

EVERYONE KEEPS ASKING WHEN BELLA WILL REVEAL HER AGE. AT THIS POINT TO THE CHARACTERS, ITS NOT A BIG DEAL TO ANYONE EXCEPT BELLA. EDWARD COULD EASILY GET THE INFORMATION IF HE WANTED BUT SHE TOLD HIM SHE WAS 21, WHY WOULDN’T HE BELIEVE HER? PLUS, IN THEIR EYES, THIS IS A ONE TIME DEAL…AS OF NOW. THE AGE THING WILL BE COMING UP SHORTLY, ESPECIALLY ONCE THE FAMILY FINDS OUT ABOUT OUR LOVER’S LITTLE TRYST.

WHAT EVERYONE REALLY NEEDS TO WORRY ABOUT IS WHETER BELLA IS ITALIAN OR NOT. THAT’S A WHOLE SEPARATE ISSUE ON ITS OWN AND DID WE FORGET THAT CHARLIE’S A COP? MY, MY, MY. THINGS ARE HEATING UP.

LOTS GOING ON. HOPE YOU CAN ALL KEEP UP.

Thanks for mansplaining that to us, Johnny. Our minds are just so tiny and insignificant and pervy. It is so hard to keep up with your ignorance intricate reflections of the crime world.

Chapter 17:

ONCE AGAIN, I KEEP GETTING SO MANY COMMENTS ABOUT BELLA’S AGE. ONE REVIEWER EVEN CALLED HER A HYPOCRITE FOR KEEPING SECRETS. GOOD LORD FOLKS, IT’S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL ALTHOUGH SHE THINKS IT IS. I PROMISE THAT THE AGE QUESTION WILL BE ADDRESSED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, ON FRIDAY, WHICH IS A BEAST BY THE WAY.

BUT AS I’VE SAID BEFORE, THE AGE THING ISN’T THE BIGGEST DEAL. DID EVERYONE FORGET THAT EDWARD’S IN THE MOB? MAJOR PROBLEM. I CAN’T STRESS THAT ENOUGH.

IN OTHER NEWS, LOTS OF THINGS GOING ON OUTSIDE OF THE STORY.

SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE RECOMMENDED THIS STORY TO OTHER SITES AND I’VE GOTTEN AN INFLUX OF REVIEWERS WHO HAVE BEEN SENT OVER TO THE STORY. THERE HAS BEEN SO MANY PEOPLE COMING OUT OF THE WOODWORKS, THAT I’VE DECIDED TO START A BLOG.

With all of your new popularity, intricate plots that we can barely keep up with, and neverending efforts to please the hoards of “pervs” that read you, of course you need a blog! Next stop, COPYRIGHTING!

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We’d like to be the first (?) to congratulate EdwardsBloodType on the flawless copyrighting of her… everything posted on fanfiction.net.

All plot lines, backgrounds, characterizations, and details belong to EdwardsBloodType. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization. ©2010 EdwardsBloodType. All rights reserved worldwide.

WWWWOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLDDDDD WIDE, BITCHES!

ALL YOU HOMIES OVER THERE IN CAMBODIA,

BURMA,

FUCKING EQUATORIAL GUINEA AND SHIT,

WE KNOW YOU’RE REAL BUSY TRYING TO GAIN FREEDOM AND FIND FOOD AND CLEAN WATER TO KEEP YOUR CHILDREN ALIVE WITH, BUT IF YOU COULD TAKE A MOMENT TO FUCKING RECOGNIZE, EDWARDSBLOODTYPE HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY ABOUT HER FLY ASS TWILIGHT FANFICTION:

ALL THIS SHIT SHE’S WRITING? IT’S HERS, BITCHES (except when it isn’t). SHE IS RESERVING ALLLLLLLL HER RIGHTS (very little, if any), TESTIFY! SO DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT COPYING THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. YOU WANT TO SEND IT TO A FRIEND? TOO BAD, LINK ALL THEM HOES TO HER SUPER PIMP FANFICTION.NET PROFILE PAGE, BITCHES, BECAUSE EDWARDSBLOODTYPE IS TOO LEGIT TO QUIT.

AND WHOEVER THE FIRST HATER IS TO TELL HER she can’t COPYRIGHT SOMETHING THAT’S ALREADY COPYRIGHTED? THEY CAN SUCK IT. WORLD. WIDE.

Under copyright law, if you don’t own the copyright to a work, you cannot do the following without permission from the copyright holder:

  • Reproduce copies of the work
  • Create derivitave works based on the work
  • Distribute copies of the work
  • Perform the work publicly
  • Display the work publicly

ALL THESE WHACK ASS GOOGLED ARTICLES AND LAW TEXT GONNA LOOK  a lot like this, BUT ALL THOSE LAWYERS AND SCHOLARS BE HATIN. SO WHAT IF THE VERY CONCEPT OF FANFICTION IS ALREADY ON SHAKY LEGAL TERRITORY? SLAP A COPYRIGHT ON THESE SUCKERS AND CALL IT A NIGHT, BECAUSE YOUR WORK IS DONE, SON.

RESPECT.

WORLD.

FUCKING.

WIDE.

BITCHES.


Does it come as a huge surprise that our first (blog-worthy) submitted twank hails from the ever-masturbatory feathersmmmm? Not to us, it doesn’t.

For the sake of hilarity, let’s rewind back to a simpler time in fandom. The entire TwiFic blog phenomenon was just being born, and with that came Twigasm, which for those of you who may be unfamiliar, was/is an adult-catered Twilight FanFiction podcast. Feathers, who was at the time authoring the RPF love story I Love L.A. (which has since been pulled for publishing and reworked into the masterpiece we know today as The Unidentified Personalities Redhead) was one of the authors involved.

Since Omnific (a controversial, Twilighted.net business that takes mediocre, yet popular fanfictions and edits them for the purpose of monopolizing off their guise of original fiction) sprinkled Feathers with the ill-gotten gains of publishdom, the author has become widely known for a long string of incredibly verbose and wanktastic author notes. In fact, like any good twankhard, she seems to love the attention (we know you’re reading, chicken), often transparently making the A/Ns as long as she possibly can, while passive aggressively instigating her critics.

Her most recent A/N defends her use of the endearment “chickens” (duh, it means she fucking loves you, you flock of sanctimonious morons). It also promotes her upcoming sequel to The Unidentified Talent Redhead, which she just knows you’ll buy, because you weren’t bored by the complete lack of characterization in the first one entirely fulfilled by her first, admit it.

But this isn’t where the real twank comes in. We were notified of the activity on her Twitter account this evening, and we had to admit. We were quite amused. While it’s against our rules to post screenshots of private Twitter accounts, we couldn’t resist a little creative re-enactment.

Isn’t it funny when people take things too seriously?

Like whenever mediocre fanfiction authors write a self-insert story about boning Robert Pattinson, and then proceed to dress it up as actual literature once it gains a little steam in the community?

Yes.

No matter what I do or how I explain myself, some people aren’t going to like me.

True, but it probably helps if we’re not being preached at/told to go fuck ourselves every single A/N.

Is it ever okay for authors to bash another author’s story?

Oh, this is going to get good. Translation: Someone who actually holds some weight in this community was a big fat meanie pants.

I love concrit. I just think it should only be given by critics whose ultimate goal in giving it is to see the author excel.

I’ll remember that next time I go to see an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

On public vs private criticism: If you sling nasty shit, then own up to it, slather your dildos in it, wear it on your dumb faces.

It’s okay to sling shit in public so long as you wear the feces as warpaint. We’re with you.

I have negative opinions on stories, but I never share them in public.

Wait…. what?

We’re too unmotivated to go through your timeline and prove you wrong. (And we would.)

Feel free to flame me.

Don’t worry, we will.

I’m not judging anyone.

No, you’d never do that. You’re too busy “staying classy” and using your very public A/Ns as a tool to attack and incite your critics.

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