Posts Tagged ‘badfic’


You know it’s going to be lulzy when chapter 1 is nothing but A/N and it still has over 4,000 reviews.

There Will be Blood by johnnyboy7

Dear Faithful Readers (who from this moment on, will be called Johnny’s since I’m vain like that haha).

Welcome to a new adventure from my mind and trust me, its going to be a trip.

If you’ve been reading some of my other stuff aka THVC or LDV,

you will know that I am a pretty extensive writer who enjoys diving head first into the lives and characters of my stories. This story is going to be no different and expect long, detailed chapters.

This is a Bella/Edward, ALL HUMAN story and is very OCC as far as the Cullen’s go. I don’t want reviews telling me this because I wrote the story so I know this is going to be totally different from Stephanie Meyer’s stuff. This is a pure Johnnyboy7 creation. Remember that.

We’ve never ready anything like this before!

Also, since this is going to be a ‘life story’, there won’t be drama and lemons in every chapter. Of course, you know I love my smut and drama but it won’t be happening every day.

Life story? More like an autobiography AMIRITE?

Just let the story progress and stick with it. I promise you’ll be on a roller coaster from the prologue.

Well, since you demanded asked so nicely…

Now on to the technical stuff; this story will have alternating Bella/Edward POV’s by chapter except for the prologue, which was just something I was trying out. There will be cannon pairings but like I said before, Edward is VERY DIFFERENT.

Well maybe I should say that he isn’t different but for a human, he can be pretty messed up. Think of him as the closest thing to vampire as a human can be.v

THIS IS A MAFIA STORY.

ALL THE THINGS THAT COME WITH THAT WILL BE IN THE SUBSEQUENT CHAPTERS.

That brings me to my next part of my first of many author’s rants. This story is a very intricate reflection of the underground crime world.

The mob is never a clean thing so this story won’t be either.

IF YOU AREN’T OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE THEN PLEASE JUST SKIP RIGHT OVER THIS STORY AND COME BACK WHEN YOU’RE OLDER.

CAN WE AT LEAST STILL CLICK ON ALL THE OUTFIT PICTURES ON YOUR PROFILE, JOHNNY? OH PLEASE!

This story has blood, gore, violence, guns, references to religion, drugs, alcohol, language, dirty lemonade and so much more. It’s rated M for a reason; very dark themes dealing with the mafia and crime families. I think I use the word ‘fuck’ or some variation of it at least twenty times in the first chapter.

… wasn’t Edward supposed to be VERY DIFFERENT?

Expect lots of Mobward. He’s not a very close ‘Twilight’ Edward. Bella is closer to the books but not fully. Although he might ‘soften’ throughout the story, don’t expect him to ever truly be fluffy per se.

I think that’s all. I just wanted to warn everyone before we get this thing started.

I know I’m sounding like a ‘father’ right now

Is that what they’re calling tools now?

He ends the rest of the chapters in BOLD SHOUTY CAPS, telling the reader what they should be focusing on and worrying about, narrating the rise in reviews, and promoting contests that he REALLY WANTS TO WIN SOMETHING from!

Chapter 13:

AND GOOD NEWS…LEMON COMING UP NEXT! I KNOW HOW PERVY YOU ALL ARE

Chapter 14:

EVERYONE KEEPS ASKING WHEN BELLA WILL REVEAL HER AGE. AT THIS POINT TO THE CHARACTERS, ITS NOT A BIG DEAL TO ANYONE EXCEPT BELLA. EDWARD COULD EASILY GET THE INFORMATION IF HE WANTED BUT SHE TOLD HIM SHE WAS 21, WHY WOULDN’T HE BELIEVE HER? PLUS, IN THEIR EYES, THIS IS A ONE TIME DEAL…AS OF NOW. THE AGE THING WILL BE COMING UP SHORTLY, ESPECIALLY ONCE THE FAMILY FINDS OUT ABOUT OUR LOVER’S LITTLE TRYST.

WHAT EVERYONE REALLY NEEDS TO WORRY ABOUT IS WHETER BELLA IS ITALIAN OR NOT. THAT’S A WHOLE SEPARATE ISSUE ON ITS OWN AND DID WE FORGET THAT CHARLIE’S A COP? MY, MY, MY. THINGS ARE HEATING UP.

LOTS GOING ON. HOPE YOU CAN ALL KEEP UP.

Thanks for mansplaining that to us, Johnny. Our minds are just so tiny and insignificant and pervy. It is so hard to keep up with your ignorance intricate reflections of the crime world.

Chapter 17:

ONCE AGAIN, I KEEP GETTING SO MANY COMMENTS ABOUT BELLA’S AGE. ONE REVIEWER EVEN CALLED HER A HYPOCRITE FOR KEEPING SECRETS. GOOD LORD FOLKS, IT’S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL ALTHOUGH SHE THINKS IT IS. I PROMISE THAT THE AGE QUESTION WILL BE ADDRESSED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, ON FRIDAY, WHICH IS A BEAST BY THE WAY.

BUT AS I’VE SAID BEFORE, THE AGE THING ISN’T THE BIGGEST DEAL. DID EVERYONE FORGET THAT EDWARD’S IN THE MOB? MAJOR PROBLEM. I CAN’T STRESS THAT ENOUGH.

IN OTHER NEWS, LOTS OF THINGS GOING ON OUTSIDE OF THE STORY.

SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE RECOMMENDED THIS STORY TO OTHER SITES AND I’VE GOTTEN AN INFLUX OF REVIEWERS WHO HAVE BEEN SENT OVER TO THE STORY. THERE HAS BEEN SO MANY PEOPLE COMING OUT OF THE WOODWORKS, THAT I’VE DECIDED TO START A BLOG.

With all of your new popularity, intricate plots that we can barely keep up with, and neverending efforts to please the hoards of “pervs” that read you, of course you need a blog! Next stop, COPYRIGHTING!

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