Posts Tagged ‘its disgasting!!!’


Warning! This twank doesn’t come with brain bleach.

rubber-duckies-1234 has an interesting little story by the title of Daddy’s favourite girl, which features an incestuous/pedophilia/omgthisissogross mature relationship between Charlie and Bella. Our first instinct was to just run very far away, but others have been reporting this story to FFn for violation of the ToS.

But we can’t understand why they would. Like rubber-duckies says again and again:

I put up a warning that there was going to be incest. So please don’t review or if you don’t like it, or if your disgusted by it, I mean why review a story and tell me it’s sick. I know it’s sick and twisted but everyone has different opinion and there is a plot for this story.

Rated M for mature themes and incest.

You’ve all been warned! We don’t know about you, but whenever we see something offensive, disgusting,  repulsive, immoral, scary, etc and so on, we just ignore it. That’s why whenever we see suspicious men on playgrounds with their hands in their pants, we walk the other way instead of causing a scene, amirite?

A/N: No rude reviews please and vote on my poll!

The readers have been warned that the story is sick, twisted, and incestuous, and instructed to only leave nice reviews.

ENTER: THE RUDE REVIEWS!

Okay everyone, don’t be mad because I know that I promise there won’t be another AN. I have some bad news and good news.

Bad news:

People have been reporting this story saying it’s sick and disgusting. I put up a warning that there was going to be incest. So please don’t review or if you don’t like it, or if your disgusted by it, I mean why review a story and tell me it’s sick. I know it’s sick and twisted but everyone has different opinion. I don’t know if this story is going to be deleted or not.

And remember it is Fanfiction “Unleash you imagination.” That is the quote for the FF. Just saying.

She seems so familiar with Fanfiction.net’s slogan. We wish they’d add to that “…if you’ve read the ToS.” (Which she obviously hasn’t)

She also lists in her last chapter every (good) reviewer, story alerter, and story favorite’er, because that’s something everyone wants to be closely associated with.

Also an Evil Twin wank from her FFn profile, just because it made us lawl:

Sorry for those of you that gotten hate messages from me, I lent my brother my laptop and forgot to sign out of FF because I just made an account and my brother went on, so I am so sorry for the trouble I caused.

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Nonnie blesses our inbox with something truly twank worthy.

We’re not going to go into the specifics of what a good review is, but why would we, when mac214 has already done the homework for us? In her blog entry titled, The Lost Art of Constructive Criticism, mac teaches us what an acceptable review is. AND HER BLOG IS WEARING OUR DRESS, BUT ASIDE FROM THAT… According to her,

The art of constructive criticism seems to be lost on those in the fandom who consider themselves qualified enough to leave it. Most of the time it seems designed to make the writer feel like shit instead of genuinely helping them improve their writing.

This would seem to imply that not only is everyone not qualified enough to constructively criticize a Twilight Fanfiction, but also that most negative reviews (which are likely a generous 5% of all FFn reviews) are only being left to bring the author down.

re·view (r-vy)

v. re·viewed, re·view·ing, re·views
v.tr. 

1. To look over, study, or examine again.
2. To consider retrospectively; look back on.
3. To examine with an eye to criticism or correction: reviewed the research findings.
4. To write or give a critical report on (a new work or performance, for example).
5. Law To reexamine (an action or determination) judicially, especially in a higher court, in order to correct possible errors.
6. To subject to a formal inspection, especially a military inspection.
7. Given for the sole purpose of aiding the subject of said criticism to improve.

One could argue she was only referring to constructive criticism and not reviews as a whole. It’s not like she picked a negative review, threw it up on her blog, made an example out of a reader who was just leaving an honest and not at all hostile opinion, and then took it upon herself to correct them.

Or maybe she did.

Last night someone complained about the accent in Coming Through the Rye in a way that was less than constructive:

I’m sure you really won’t care about this review but I can’t believe you have someone Scottish helping with this dialect. You’re mixing different Scottish dialects throughout, also the only people who sound that broad are farmers and people over 70, and the glossary is hit or miss too. For a start “teucher” is absolutely not a highland term, it refers to people from NE Scotland. Black Pudding? NOTHING like a sausage, the texture/taste is so different that calling it this is ridiculous. As a Scot it pains me to see this as a representation of Scotland.

Combative. Rude. Arrogant. Did I miss anything?  I thanked the reviewer for her opinion, but shockingly this particular reviewer HAD to assure me of her superiority and correctness, which led to me letting out a tiny bit of snark.  I probably would have reined it in a bit if she’d just been insulting me (I’m certainly no expert at Scottish slang and accents), but she’s also insulting Claire, my prereader who lives in Glencoe, Scotland – and what kind of idiot implies I wouldn’t know a sausage if it bit me in the ass?  Not to mention, if you’re going to dispute the glossary definitions, be sure googling the term “teuchter” doesn’t immediately take you to page after page that defines it as a word referring to people in the Highlands. Considering Claire’s people refer to themselves as “teuchtery”… well, I don’t think the reviewer in question could have outed herself as a true troll and absolute moron any more if she tried.

How might this reviewer have transmitted her viewpoint without coming off as a complete douchebag?

Mac then proceeds to reconstruct (we can’t make this up) what she felt the review should have been. Anyone got a facepalm gif handy?

“I like that you’re writing a Scottish Edward.  I live in Scotland, though, and your portrayal of the accent doesn’t seem quite right.  To my ear, the accent appears too heavy and the slang is wrong for a person of that age group.  Perhaps you might add an additional Scottish person to join your prereading team to offer a second opinion – I would be happy to step in if you’re interested.  You may also want to consider rewording your description of blood pudding.  It doesn’t seem very sausage-like to me – it’s not quite as firm and meaty. Thanks for putting so much effort into your fic!” It gets the point across, offers solutions, and doesn’t imply the reviewer is schmuck.

We’d point out that instead of looking like a schmuck, now it just looks like the reader has her tongue glued to your anus, just the way you like, but we won’t. You’d probably make an example out of us too.

Twank Roundup:

Blog Post: Contests are unfair and only the popular girls win (Even though she only made the blog post to announce she’s placed in one)

Blog Post: Teaching the world about the evils of homophones (You can leave links to any homophone errors present in her fics in the comments… we don’t read…)

Blog Post: Tax deductions for fic research (Just no)

Blog Post: Your BDSM fic is boring and only popular because it’s trendy (Not that we disagree, but her fic list isn’t exactly screaming INTRIGUE)

Blog Post: Just everything.

Profile Page: “Thinking about leaving negative feedback? Consider whether your review is constructive or abusive. My policy is to ban anyone who leaves abusive criticism and make fun of them publicly for being a douchebag.” (Should we remind you what she considers “abusive”?)

We didn’t look at her Twitter, but we ‘magine it goes something like:

*SELF-IMPORTANCE* *SELF-IMPORTANCE* *SELF-IMPORTANCE*

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It’s been a quiet weekend in twankland, but a few Nonnies starting rolling in tonight. One sent us something we weren’t certain qualified.

On a previous Twank for SR or ICY, a lot was brought up on MoG (Morgan Locklear). He writes a story called Bella Voce, vamp fic, that just isn’t that great tbh. I have attached a pic of his most recent twitter feed, trying to get a known fandom lady to read his story. She does not like to read 3rd person, and is a rare occasion when she does. His story is…..3rd person.

Some people just don’t have preferences for certain things. Most authors would shrug this off with a “to each their own.”

Or you could just badger them repeatedly until they submit to the fact that YOUR story will convert them:

When the reader asks what novel-quality third POV fics come to mind for Morgan, he declares:

WHAT AN AMAZING DISPLAY OF MODESTY! How honored those other two (suckier) authors must feel to be almost as good as Morgan.

His website, where he bounces back and forth between referring to himself in first and third person.

He realizes people are afraid to get invested in WIP fics, so he promotes, “Okay, here’s the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/~ Bella Voce is well crafted and well completed.”

Reminds his readers thatIt has come to my attention that there are many people who won’t even start a story unless it is complete.” Urges them: “So if you find yourself talking about Bella Voce you might want to include that fact. Thanks for all the traffic this week.”

In the same vein, says this of his own story:

*wank* *wank* *wank*

Loving himself raw there.

Sings and records songs for his own story.

Is the one responsible for getting husbands into fic by “having a dood friendly story that is also appealing to the ladies.”

Not to pimp my own work, but as I writer, I have my characters ask questions and it leads the story down better paths.

Just in case you missed his other gazillion self-promotions…

Then there’s this, posted on the discussion thread made for him on Twilighted for Bella Voce:

Let me make one thing perfectly clear…on this thread I will personally run off anyone who uses this place to do anything except celebrating the fandom and it’s accomplishments.

At least he’s honest about the “affirmations only go here” thing.

Twankas arejust jealous.”

Pushes another reader to make him a promotional video, even though she’s short on time, in exchange for retweets and him reading her story.

ZOMGZ my mention on Twankhard got me 100 readers!

And here, we thought it was because, as you yourself boast, your story is so “well crafted” and “has a poetic style that celebrates a classic kind of story telling without being dense” and “a defined wit that will give you giggles and even Belly laughs combined with a kick ass old school vampire approach.”

Did we mention that we love it when wankers review their own stories?

Because we do.

ETA: Arrogance is not a crime!

ETA2: “you think of my pee pee [sic] when you masturbate.”

https://twankhard.wordpress.com/2010/10/11/this-is-the-pit-and-i-am-the-conductor/#comment-2431

ETA3: MY THOUSANDS OF RAVING REVIEWS DON’T LIE

All four people who said they couldn’t complete it have my apologies, I write at an above third grade level so I can understand your confusion.

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We’re not really even sure we can pinpoint the twank here. We guess in the generalized sense, DelaneyG84 is one big, pulsating twank monster, just lurking beneath your bed, waiting for your feet to pass so she can jump out, grab you, and yell.

ROBSTEN IS REAL! ACCEPT AND LOVE THEM! *CRAZINESS* *CRAZINESS* *CRAZINESS*

We already know a little about how Delaney is being sued by Summit for leaking Eclipse photos, so her rabid fanaticism doesn’t come as much of a surprise.

We have no idea how she developed such a “following” but if you were to ask her, it’s because she has “insider sources” that can confirm the definite existence of “Robsten.” Not only can she confirm that RP and KS are together and deeply in love, but she also provides alleged details about their personal and professional lives, sometimes teasing her followers with clues about information gained from these “sources”. All the while, she is claiming to have so much information on RP and KS that she has to remain “muzzled” to respect their privacy.

She sometimes insults her very following by agreeing “a cat has more common sense than a large portion of R/k fans“.

She has double agents EVERYWHERE!

Begs in smugness, “Let’s forget the “Stens”. I have done my part. Y’all know the truth by now. Let’s be Rob, Kris and Twilight Saga fans. Ok?

It’s wrong to hate on popular figures. “You can’t be a fan of Rob if you hate Kstew.

Yet she continuously mocks and berates other figures of popularity, calling Joe Jonas “a virgin whore” and saying this of Rob and Kristen’s costars, Ashley Green and Nikki Reed: “AG and NR just need to keep their legs shut. There I said it.

Yet she tells Twihards they need to chill the fuck out.

And God forbid anyone doubt the existence of Robsten. She reitterates how very together the couple is. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and…

You feel me.

Sometimes, reading through her Twitter feed (which we only had the motivation to do as far back as July), we get the impression that Delaney feels burdened by her obligations and duties in this fandom. She has to confirm and deny every rumor, inform us which fan sites are acceptable to visit, and constantly reiterate how very together the couple is. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and…

We all know how rabid it can get on both sides of this R/K debate, but Twankhard was really shocked to hear some of the shenanigans, going so far to stalk and harass people and their families (on either side) in their personal lives.  Naturally, we’re like.

Who cares who’s fucking whom?

But this is some prime, WTF IT’S SO CREEPY WE’RE SCARED FOR THEM twank.

When things get really difficult for Delany, she just finds comfort in knowing that Rob and Kristen are solid.

Scary creepy?

Happy Halloween, Twankas.

ETA: SCREENSHOTS & POLL UNDER “READ FULL STORY” CUT

ETA2: Nonnie sent us this public summary of the Summit lawsuit

http://www.rfcexpress.com/lawsuit.asp?ID=54932

(more…)


Long ago, in a land far, far away, there existed an artist. Not the kind who makes something based off someone elses work and calls it a literary masterpiece. One who actually made his living off of the work he produced. He went to school for it, studied hard, and probably went through all the rigmarole any professional artist must face. His product bought his food and clothed him, paid his mortgage, and for all we know, fed his puppies (good god, think of the puppies!).

In this same, odd land known as Real Life, there also exists evil hackers who will stop at nothing to invade this photographer’s privacy and gain access to his highly coveted masterpieces, sell them to the highest bidder, and essentially rob (we heart puns) him of whatever monetary gain he could have made off the photos.

In this case, said photographer Stuart Shining is (supposedly) a bad ass muthafucka who will C&D your ass so fast, you won’t even get a chance to fap to Rob’s bouffant your head will spin. In fact, he apparently did so earlier last year when some of these popular photos were leaked.

Fast forward a bit, and it’s revealed that PattinsonLife/RPL has possession of, and has posted those pictures illegally onto their site(s). Someone speaks up, cue C&D, LiveJournal steps in and takes action, RPL owner/administrator Mandy/Brandnewluv‘s account gets suspended, and the photos get removed.

You’d probably think, “Oh well, yeah, that sucks. Who gives a crap?”

Wait for it….

One could argue that it wasn’t well-known to RPL that C&D letters had been sent already around to other sites possessing the same photos. One could argue that, even though it is well known in the fandom that Delaney84 is already in a legal case with Summit for posting photos from the Eclipse film without permission, and that even though RPL had already dodged the massive bullet that was being included in the same suit, that sometimes, ignorance/accidents/mistakes/drunkeness just happens.

They didn’t know!

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Oooookay, they did suspect something, else this totally random tweet would have never made it onto the web-o-sphere. But it’s not like they all freaked out and irrationally incited a mob against the Meanie McMeanpants who brought the stolen pictures to the higher powers’ attention instead of just owning up to making a dumb mistake or anything. Right?

(right?)

We can’t disagree with you there.

But this is just jittzpattzing who we’d love to insult but her emotional instability and disturbingly effective stalking abilities frighten us greatly. It’s not like the admins of RPL would make entire blog posts playing the victim when, in fact, they knew all along their actions were likely shady and not entirely legal, and there is clear proof to that fact. Right?

(right?)

That livejournal account was deleted because someone reported a few pictures (I don’t know which pictures, since everything was deleted) and I really can’t understand why. I’m sure everyone enjoyed them when they were posted, but the hate around here made a person, that probably saved the photo, file a complaint. When something that it was supposed to be fun starts being the reason I’m stressing all the time, I guess it’s time to stop;

Give us something to work with here! Okay. Okay. The people responsible aren’t taking responsibility. You’re entitled, we get it. We’ve seen that a lot. Whatever. But it’s not like anyone actually bought into this crap. Not when there’s PROOF existing, so readily available (it took me two minutes to search this crap out, really) that RPL knew what they were doing and we’re only sorry they got tattled on. It just wouldn’t go down like that, right?

(right?)

dorym said…That mean spirited person is asking for trouble from the universe for putting out such a negative and dishonorable energy which has caused unhappiness for so many fans.

maria2386 said…I miss the old days and agree totally – the bitchiness and nastiness that is apparent in this fandom is absolutely ridiculous. It’s SHOULD be all about sharing and celebrating Rob’s brilliance

*takes memo we never got*

rpattzgirl survived Rob! said…I don’t understand how this could happen, or what lead to it… It’s disgusting, and frankly scary as shit that haters have this much power…

itsyblue said…I am sure Rob would be very disappointed, this is exactly what he meant when he said “little nerds that hide behind their blogs”

*more memos*

papagáj said…What happened is the highest form of human depravity and rudeness. I loathe them. They are not worthy to call them human beings. This is what feeds them is our grief and anger, and note that even they do not deserve, so we must remain strong, maybe in another community.

CullenGal09 said…The fact that such hatred and petty nonsense has caused you to resort to this upsets me greatly, but I also understand totally.

Aeren said…I.m Cryinng Now, I.m a mother a wife, A Rob Fan and I cant understand all this madness.. Think about your followers, affiliates, I Love you…ah Bad day

Engen said…This is so sad! 😦 I really enjoyed reading this blog. So now I’m so angry at the people who reported it!!!

amfipolos said…I guess people with absolutely no lives but with extensive hate over anyone who’s happy, creative and devoted have won once again… I agree with you, you have to do what you have to do when you feel you don’t want to put up with the shit anymore.

Nicole said…The same thing that is happening to you is happening in the fanfiction writing community where UoEM and some other stories were taken down. There is just so much hate and grown women acting like complete idiots. I’m sure you did nothing wrong.

Oh, Nicole. Read above. And then below.

♪♫ Yaelfica ♪♫ said…MANDY i don’t fully understand what happened

Psssst. That’s because she didn’t fully tell you what happened.

skorobeu said…OMG!!!NOOOO!!!I am so sad.its disgasting!!!

papagáj said…KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA KAR-MA

(right…)

We’re hoping that Livejournal will listen and reinstate her account. But this post is mainly to support her and PL. All of us ToR girls love you guys and are behind you 100%. We just wanted to let you guys know that. Don’t give up, we’re right behind you.

ETA: And to all of you haters, you don’t know how much work goes into these sites. Stop your pathetic moaning, bitching & ranting. If you’re not happy then go somewhere else. You don’t have to spew your hate all over the place or better yet why don’t you get a life or create your own freaking site and see how much time and energy it takes you and then maybe you can come back to whine. This fandom went from being a fun place to be to trying to blog in hell. Keep it up and you’ll be losing all the major sources.

No love,

FP

ETA1: COME BACK, RPLIFE!

http://comebackrplife.wordpress.com/

Mandy permalink I have no words. I could barely read all comments because my tears are blinding me…. But I know that in the end you still will be there, even if I’m not RPLife anymore, just Mandy. That’s what I’m trying to be now, just Mandy.

ETA2: WHY DOES LJ HATE MEEEEEEEE?! *VIOLINS*

Mandy made some new LJ accounts, because when the admins tell her “We’re just not that into you” she hears “Blah blah blah.”

Mandy’s locked Twitter; a creative reenactment:

My new LJ is justgoogle.

WHY DID THEY SUSPEND THE NEW ACCOUNT, I AM INNOCENT! THE WORLD HATES ME, WHYYY. THEY DELETED IT. I AM HATED. BAWWW WEEP GOD NOOOO

LJ replied and said they wouldn’t unsuspend my accounts

ARE THESE GUYS SERIOUS? *LINKS TWANKHARD R.I.P R.P.L BLOG*

This is why I’m quitting fandom. I’m so disgasted!!! disgusted.

This is all because of THEM.

Oh Mandy. *Resist the Manilow. RESIST IT!* We’re not out to get you. We don’t even really know you, and you fap to Rob, so you’re naturally off our radar. But wow. A lot of other people?

15 twank submissions in one day don’t lie.

ETA3: No really. WE ARE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

Yeah, we have no idea. It’s not like she made a post saying it was or anything.

ETA4: “With each good soul, each blog removed due to the actions of such spawns of satan is a win for evil.

http://thinkingofrob.com/2010/09/29/taking-a-short-break/

Hi guys,

ToR is tak­ing a short break. We’ve seen so much hate over the past few days that we need to step back.

We’ll see you soon.

Lots of love,

FP

ETA5: HAHAHA JUST JOKINGGGGGG

They flounced the flounce. (Link to ToR post above is gone. We cry)

ETA6: JUST JOKING ABOUT JOKING BUT ONLY A LITTLE

They flounced flouncing the flounce. Or one of them did, idek, but the quote below is pretty lulzy.

Robert is our tree, he grounds us, and we branch out from him in a way that we feel is respect­ful to him.

And all the manip artists smiled. (Then emailed them to us.)

Many efforts have been made to show human­ity and kind­ness on his behalf because we have seen the com­pas­sion in his soul and want to spread the same like­ness. We aspire to keep things uncom­pli­cated because we under­stand that Rob is a sim­ple man. Antag­o­nism and regres­sion is a way of life, unfortunately, but defeat is nonex­is­tent in our minds. Never Think.

You do that so well.

ETA7: THEY ARE INTERNET TERRORISTS

http://www.robstenlove.com/blog/2010/09/have-people-lost-their-minds.html

A beloved site, RPLife, was taken down in our fandom yesterday, and someone is to blame. Some little plotting group of wanna-be bullies. I wish I could say that this is all these bitches are, but they are in fact Internet Terrorists. Quietly plotting, gathering info, seeing where they can throw some ammo and hope they find a weak spot so the blast will leave a hole. You know what I want to refer to with my descriptions. You know where I’m going with this when I call them Internet Terrorists. And all of this was done in the name of what? Responsible journalism? Protecting private property? Puhleeze!

 

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