Posts Tagged ‘omnific’


Twelve twank reports in thirty minutes. It can only mean another round of PULL THAT FIC AND SELL IT!

ekimmuh, author of Finding Bella decided to pull it from FFn in light of the recent pulled/completed fic database (which didn’t even include her story).

From Finding Bella (the only chapter left up), her blog, and a Twilighted.net forum post:

It was brought to my attention tonight that some members of the fandom who are not happy about some of the fanfiction authors publishing their stories have taken it upon themselves to compile a list of fics and put them into a database for everyone to access who wants to. This makes publishing a story that one has written and posted on the fandom extremely difficult. It is sad that these individuals feel that they have the right from the author to take the story they’ve created to a larger readership, but that is exactly what is happening. We all share our writing on the fandom for free, but that does not mean that if we find our work to be ‘good enough’ we would not want to try and publish it and make money from it. We all put a lot of time and effort into these stories.

Our C&P links to all those websites confirming how ILLEGAL that is have begged us to give them a vacation, so we won’t bother.

So, it is with a sad heart that I have removed Finding Bella. Given that I have announced that I am publishing a novel (not Finding Bella), I feel that I, and my story will soon be targeted by this group. Believe me when I say that I do this with great sadness. I know that Finding Bella has a huge following in the fandom and that it will be missed.

That’s a lot of self-importance. Allow us to translate.

*WANK* *WANK* *WANK*

With that said, I want to assure you that you all will get your ended. Unfortunately, due to what is going on, you are now going to wait until the story is published. It will be a series of books instead of one and I am hoping to have the first one out, if all goes well, sometime next year.

At first, we thought this meant she was publishing Finding Bella, even though she just said the paragraph before that she wasn’t, but truthfully, her blog post was so poorly written that we’re not even sure what she means. Since she spends many words defending her copyrights, we’re going to tentatively assume she intends to publish her fanfickshun.

I will not be disappearing from the fandom, and I will probably still write here although I will most likely be sticking to cannon or AU stories from now on.

We’ll all just be jumping to read that, since you treated your HUGE FOLLOWING with such obvious respect with your last story.

I am asking that if you do have a copy of Finding Bella saved on your hard drive that you do not share it. Many of you will not be happy with my decision, but I do hope you understand. This is personal. Whether or not an author used the Twilight characters as a jumping board or not write their story, it is still their story and belongs to them. I ask my readers to please respect that and not help add to this.

In response to a reply on her blog post:

Charmie,

No. This is not selfless. I put a lot of time and energy into this story and if I would like to publish it one of these days then that is something I feel is perfectly within my rights to do as it has nothing to do with Twilight. Putting it on the blog or another site would not protect it from being stolen. The only option was to take it down, which is what I have done.

Insert the same 10 or 20 links to copyright law here.

Just no.

Her Twitter and blog suggest that she’s in support of TWCS, who we twanked last month for basically being thieves. They’re also the “publishing house” that’s about to market such treasures as Just Wait and The Perfect Wife, whose author is about to have some kind of big reveal in the next eight days, idk idk. It’s not a big leap to assume she plans to submit Finding Bella to them as well, if they haven’t already agreed to steal her HUGE FOLLOWING’s money publish it already.

That’s just speculation though. It’s possible she’s going to a real life publisher to query her fanfickshun, but since she recently made an entire blog post whining about Twilighted beta feedback, we don’t think she’s up for all that.

Twilighted is a privately owned site and the administrators have the right to run it as they see fit, however, as the author I have issues with being asked to change my story.

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This twank has had us laughing all night long. At least 5 Nonnies reported it, but by the time Twankharder2 *glares* got around to checking our email, the author had pulled the material in question. But we could kiss Nonnie #6, who so diligently took a screenshot for your entertainment.

Firstly, we’d like to congratulate Hannah81 (Twilighted validation beta, of course) on this:

ACO would be All Cried Out, a twilight fanfiction that she completed and later removed. She still has the outtakes on her fanfiction.net profile.

She’s obviously been terribly busy, editing the fanfiction into a marketable masterpiece (and only in one month!).

We all know how illegal immoral difficult it must be to transform a fanfiction into something resembling an original work. We imagine there must be an abundance of search and replace plot and character revisions. So much, that she’d basically have to rewrite the story.

Omnific was pleased with the revisions Hannah chose, and look how excited she is! She is going to be real life published by a real life publishing company! Break out the champagne! All that searching and replacing hard work paid off!

But first, Hannah must tell her readers! And how better to tell her readers than to offer them a oneshot with an A/N proclaiming she now has absolute ownership of All Cried Out, and Oh! She hopes you’ll buy the book! She realizes you already read the fanfiction, but this book is going to be so different. Practically not even the same thing.

But the chapter update doesn’t exist. This is the point where Twankhard taps a finger against our chins and hems and hahs.

Enter, Nonnie of the Week! She took a screenshot before Hannah81 removed the chapter, probably in a  fit of total embarrassment.

(Click to see fullsize)

Note that every recognizable Twilight character and location name now has a new one smooshed up beside it. EdwardWesley and CharlotteBella are just so glad Hannah81 took the time to properly edit her fanfiction into something original and publishable. It’d be awful to know she used search and replace, and awfuller to know she didn’t even do that correctly. Awfuller even to know she’d post it by accident without even reading it through.

Hannah81 is clearly publishing material.

(PatrickJasper/ChloeAlice OTP)

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Does it come as a huge surprise that our first (blog-worthy) submitted twank hails from the ever-masturbatory feathersmmmm? Not to us, it doesn’t.

For the sake of hilarity, let’s rewind back to a simpler time in fandom. The entire TwiFic blog phenomenon was just being born, and with that came Twigasm, which for those of you who may be unfamiliar, was/is an adult-catered Twilight FanFiction podcast. Feathers, who was at the time authoring the RPF love story I Love L.A. (which has since been pulled for publishing and reworked into the masterpiece we know today as The Unidentified Personalities Redhead) was one of the authors involved.

Since Omnific (a controversial, Twilighted.net business that takes mediocre, yet popular fanfictions and edits them for the purpose of monopolizing off their guise of original fiction) sprinkled Feathers with the ill-gotten gains of publishdom, the author has become widely known for a long string of incredibly verbose and wanktastic author notes. In fact, like any good twankhard, she seems to love the attention (we know you’re reading, chicken), often transparently making the A/Ns as long as she possibly can, while passive aggressively instigating her critics.

Her most recent A/N defends her use of the endearment “chickens” (duh, it means she fucking loves you, you flock of sanctimonious morons). It also promotes her upcoming sequel to The Unidentified Talent Redhead, which she just knows you’ll buy, because you weren’t bored by the complete lack of characterization in the first one entirely fulfilled by her first, admit it.

But this isn’t where the real twank comes in. We were notified of the activity on her Twitter account this evening, and we had to admit. We were quite amused. While it’s against our rules to post screenshots of private Twitter accounts, we couldn’t resist a little creative re-enactment.

Isn’t it funny when people take things too seriously?

Like whenever mediocre fanfiction authors write a self-insert story about boning Robert Pattinson, and then proceed to dress it up as actual literature once it gains a little steam in the community?

Yes.

No matter what I do or how I explain myself, some people aren’t going to like me.

True, but it probably helps if we’re not being preached at/told to go fuck ourselves every single A/N.

Is it ever okay for authors to bash another author’s story?

Oh, this is going to get good. Translation: Someone who actually holds some weight in this community was a big fat meanie pants.

I love concrit. I just think it should only be given by critics whose ultimate goal in giving it is to see the author excel.

I’ll remember that next time I go to see an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

On public vs private criticism: If you sling nasty shit, then own up to it, slather your dildos in it, wear it on your dumb faces.

It’s okay to sling shit in public so long as you wear the feces as warpaint. We’re with you.

I have negative opinions on stories, but I never share them in public.

Wait…. what?

We’re too unmotivated to go through your timeline and prove you wrong. (And we would.)

Feel free to flame me.

Don’t worry, we will.

I’m not judging anyone.

No, you’d never do that. You’re too busy “staying classy” and using your very public A/Ns as a tool to attack and incite your critics.

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